Insanity
by TheDuckKnight
Summary: Paul seemed to shrink before my eyes, his eyes drooping and his back slouching. I hated the feeling that grew inside me, the feeling of wanting to be wrapped in his arms and make all his pain go away. "Just stay the hell away from me, Paul." Paul/OC FULL SUMMARY INSIDE
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! So this is my first try at Twilight fanfiction. This is set at the beginning of New Moon, and will mainly focus on the werewolves. I have changed some things, nothing too big, but just for the sake of this story, Brady will be only half Quileute (but that doesn't stop the story from expanding on from New Moon). Please R&R!**

Title: Insanity

Paul/OC

Full Summary: Being half Quileute was almost as bad as being a pale face in La Push. Andy never fit in with any of the other kids, and even if she could, with the bullies constantly putting her and anyone around her down, no one would want to be her friend anyway. Paul/OC

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**CH1**

I wiped away the tears as I closed the book. Rubbing my eyes, I glanced at the clock on my bedside table; it was six in the morning, and almost time for me to get up for school. I groaned, knowing that today would be another extra tiring day. Swinging my legs out of bed, I got up, showered and dressed for the day. I carefully chose clothes that wouldn't allow me to stand out, just a plain pair of jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie. Everything about me was plain, and I had no qualms about that. Whatever helped me to evade notice, I was glad for. But either way, somehow, I always caught their attention.

I tied my brown hair up in a ponytail, pulling my fringe out of the way to have something to hide behind. It wasn't that I was shy, per se, actually my mother had to tell me constantly to not be so assertive. But I guessed that, after having to hide myself for most of the day, it was nice to let loose when I got home.

Grabbing my backpack and tying up my shoes, I clambered down the stairs and into the kitchen, where my mother and brother were.

Brady sat at the table, quickly scribbling down something that looked like algebra whilst also stuffing down his breakfast. He was only thirteen, yet he looked older than I was. Then again, I thought, so did most of the teenage boys in La Push. Brady however, was lucky in the genes department. He got mum's Quileute genes, whilst I got dad's deadbeat Seattle genes; i.e I looked American whilst he looked native. So he didn't have the same troubles I did. Then again, being the eldest in junior high, I didn't imagine he had any troubles with bullies.

My mum turned around when I walked in and placed a plate of food in front of me, at which I grimaced. She noted the dark circles under my eyes and the dark colouring of my clothes, but she never said a word. Maybe she thought that she didn't want to place extra stress on me, or maybe because she thought it was just a teenage phase.

"Come on Brady," I said, grabbing my car keys. Tipping the contents of my breakfast plate into his mouth and stuffing his work into his bag, he followed after me to the car. We both waved goodbye to our mum as we left for school.

After dropping off Brady, I drove to La Push High, and felt shivers crawl down my spine. I hated that building. I hated how small it was. I hated how the Elders ran it and were prejudiced against any outsiders, even when they themselves were being prejudiced against. It was complete bullshit, and I hated it. But not as much as I hated them.

They stood by their cars, parked in the first few spots in the parking lot, even though they rarely turned up to class or even school for days at a time. I looked at the group and noticed two new faces in the mix; Jared and Embry. I frowned, I had never thought they would join the group. Maybe some others, like _him_, but not Jared and Embry. Jared was a bit cocky, sure, but Embry had never said a mean thing to me, or anyone.

Something moved from the corner of my eye and I felt my body freeze in my seat. It was _him_ – Paul Lahote, the cause of my daily pain and humiliation. Sure, the weird 'steroid pack' as everyone had nicknamed them, after disappearing for a few days and coming back beefed up and following after Sam Uley like a little puppy, were bad, but he was worse. He got into fights, skipped class, got arrested once apparently, and slept around. Like geez, we were only sixteen, but the guy had a reputation of a porn star!

I unfroze from my place and quickly parked my car, intent on not causing a commotion and drawing any unwanted attention. I made my way though the parking lot and towards the school, walking towards my locker. I kept my head down and evaded bumping into anyone, even a friend, to not attract any attention, but alas, today was not my day.

I felt something hard kick out at my foot and it made me lose my balance, toppling forwards towards the floor. I stretched out my hands and felt a sharp pain shoot through my hands when they made contact with the floor. I groaned and looked up; oh shit. Paul was staring down at me, a smirk on his face.

"You know, if you wanted to get below me, you just had to ask, Fuller."

I felt my cheeks redden in embarrassment and picked myself up, brushing the dust from my throbbing hands. I looked back down at the floor again, hoping that Paul couldn't see the tears threatening to fall from my eyes, and walked off, hearing the menacing chuckle echo from where I left him.

I yanked open my locker, stuffing in my books in a huff. I sniffled and allowed myself a few seconds to calm down, to gather myself together.

"Hey, Andy."

I turned to my right to see Jacob smiling at me. His wolfish grin turned to a frown when he saw my reddened face and bloodshot eyes. He sighed and cracked his knuckles. "Lahote again?"

I nodded. "It's fine, it was nothing I couldn't handle. I'm not letting him get to me, ok Jake?" I plastered false smile on my face to appease him. He either bought it or wanted to indulge in my fantasy, so he dropped it. Instead he looked over my shoulder and frowned.

"So, I take it Embry's joined Jared and that bunch of puppies."

I glanced back and saw Embry and Jared walking down the hall, their playful smiles long gone, their hair cropped short and both wearing a t-shirt and shorts, even though summer wasn't for a little while yet. I nodded sadly at Jake; it seemed that it was inevitable that most of his friends would fall prey to whatever game Sam Uley was playing. The game he was also playing with Jake. Both teenagers passed us and sent an intense stare at Jake, as if waiting for something. It was the same thing Sam tended to do when he saw my friend.

"Don't worry about them, they'll come around eventually. Besides, you've still got me, Jake."

He smiled down at me; damn, what was in the water? First Brady and now Jake were both growing at an alarming rate.

"Don't worry, you'll always have me Andy."


	2. Chapter 2

Insanity

CH2

The only time I ever felt comfortable in school was in English. Mr Calloway was a strict teacher, yes, but he was lenient with me. I actually did work in his lesson, so he left me be. I made my way past the tables to my secluded corner in the back, where I could get on with my work in silence and look out the window and daydream.

My silence however was interrupted by a rambunctious group of boys entering the classroom. The 'Steroid Pack' were joking about, laughing about something. I was so shocked; they had actually turned up to class, on time? I frowned, thinking that this was somewhat suspicious. I noticed Embry and Jared amongst the boys and looked away before they noticed me. Unfortunately, it was then that I felt two holes being burned into my forehead – someone was watching me. I looked up and visibly paled. Paul Lahote had walked into the room, and upon looking around the room, noticed me and grinned maliciously. He walked up to my table, purpose in his steps, and placed his hands on the table, leaning down at me.

"Well, well, if it isn't the pale face," he growled. I shrunk into my seat, not caring about the eyes that were currently on us. Mr Calloway had yet to enter the classroom and I suddenly realised that I was very much alone.

"Hey man, leave her alone," came a voice. I looked away from Paul's glaring eyes to see that Embry had come to my rescue. Jared was standing behind him, looking hesitant, whilst the rest of the 'Steroid Pack' looked on, some amused, some annoyed.

Paul turned around and looked Embry square in the eyes. He then looked around at the rest of the boys behind him, and chuckled under his breath.

"What, are you so confused without your Sam that you're actually standing up for the pale face?" Paul said, his voice dangerously low. Fear creeped through my veins and I vaguely noticed some of the giants looking at me with an undetectable emotion in their eyes. Paul noticed some of them look towards me too, interpreting their looks as protective. "What, now you're standing up for her? She doesn't belong here!" At this point, Paul was visibly shaking and looked almost crazy. The eyes of the giants now shifted to Paul.

It was at that point that I'd had enough. I stood up abruptly, my chair scraping backwards loudly, causing everyone to (once again) stare at me. Picking up my backpack, I said, "Don't bother killing each other, it's not like I care enough for you but I would mind if I got blood on my clothes. Now, move."

Everyone was so stunned by my outburst that they stood stock still, allowing me to leave the classroom without any disturbances. I walked, the adrenaline fuelling my steps, until I made it all the way to my car. Unlocking the door, I climbed in, and that was when the adrenaline stopped and the tears started.

They started like rain fall; slow, a few tears trickling down my rosy cheeks, and then they came in a downfall, blurring my vision and leaving a salty taste on my lips. The hiccups and sobs that overtook my chest shook my body, leaving me breathless and desperate for oxygen. But I couldn't find it; there was no air to breathe. It felt like all the life had been sucked out of that cramped space and all I could do was let the waterfall until it stopped. My knuckles were white on the steering wheel and I leaned back to let out a whimper. I couldn't understand where all this was coming from; perhaps, after all this time, I was done with all the bullying and fighting and mean and cruel words. I had every right to be here, more than some. Just because my dad happened to not be part of the tribe and just so happened to then take off and leave us did not give anyone the excuse to terrorise me. But it didn't give me the excuse to just let them.

I calmed down after a while, hearing the telltale sounds of rain on the roof of my car. The constant fall of rain filled me with some peace and I finally felt able to breathe. I closed my eyes for a second and let the calm wash over me. I heard the school bell over the din of the rain and decided that I could skip class for once in my life. I turned on the ignition and sped out of the parking lot, driving towards anywhere but there.

I drove towards First Beach, knowing that no one would be there at this time. I got out and walked towards the waves that were lapping at the white sand. A lone tree trunk sat close to the water, its bark bleached white from the salt. I sat down and let out a deep sigh. The scenery was beautiful, and was enough to distract me for a while.

I hadn't noticed how much time had gone by, and how cold and dark it had gotten. The sun had started to fall past the sea line, and I clutched my hoodie closer to my body. But the cold wasn't what sent the shivers down my spine. A howl pierced the wind, then another, and another. There were stories of wolves around here, which had started to increase in number, and I looked around in fear. There wasn't another living soul around. My shallow breaths came out in puffs of white; exactly how long had I been here?

I got up from my seat, my hands burrowing into the warm pockets of my jeans, and started to walk to my car. But then I stopped. I thought I had heard something, a twig snap, a breath, the crinkle of plastic. I looked around, fear engulfing me in a constricting cocoon. Looking around frantically, I listened closely for a sign of someone else.

"He-Hello?" I called out. No answer. I let out a shaky sigh.

"Andy!"

I twisted round, looking for the voice. How did they know my name?

"Andy?"

"Andy!"

More voices, each sounding more frantic than the last. I twisted and turned, looking around for the voices. But I couldn't see a thing.

My body was shaking now. I was so stupid, I thought, to have come out in January, in _Washington_, in just a hoodie. I sat down by the edge of the road, abandoning the search for my car, and just tried to keep warm, curling up as much as I could to conserve heat. I closed my eyes and took in one breath at a time. The voices continued around me but I didn't hear them. I didn't hear anything but the sound of my laboured breaths. I opened my eyes for a moment, just a moment, and I stopped shaking. A pair of amber eyes were looking back at me from the bushes on the other side of the road, watching me. I closed my eyes and opened them again, letting out a sigh when they disappeared. I must've been dreaming, I thought. I closed my eyes again and focused on my breathing. I must've drifted off, because the next thing I knew I was surrounded by heat, like someone had placed me in an oven. But I welcomed the heat, and snuggled further into it. The arms around me tightened and I felt a kiss, as light as a butterfly, placed on the top of my head.

And then I blacked out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! Thanks to all those who followed/favourited/reviewed! Glad you all like this story! I've got a few more parts written since it's half term, but when ,y exams start up again, my updates might be a bit less frequent. Also, to the Guest who asked what i'm planning, i'm not telling! but it _should_ pan out for the rest of the books. Hope you enjoy!**

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Insanity

CH 3

I woke up the next morning and immediately fell into a coughing fit. My lungs felt empty and my throat hoarse. I fell back against the pillows and listened out for the sound of my mother coming up the stairs. Closing my eyes, I was hit with the image of those amber eyes once again, and my eyes snapped open.

"Oh, honey," my mum said, coming to kneel beside my bed. She looked worse for wear; her hair was all over the place, like she hadn't slept, and her eyes were bloodshot and hooded. She placed her hand on my forehead and then smoothed my hair out of my eyes.

"What happened?" I groaned. She chuckled. "You don't remember making me worry sick about you?"

Ah. I grinned sheepishly at my mum. She chuckled at my expression, and then her face fell. "What happened Andy? The school called, said you didn't turn up to your afternoon classes, and then you didn't pick up Brady and you were gone for so many hours. The Elders sent out Sam and his boys to look for you. Thank god Jacob said that you liked to go to the beach, otherwise they would have never found you."

So, it was Sam and his cronies who found me? I felt conflicted, but glad that at least Jake got to hang out with his old friends, even if my health was on the line because of it. I attempted to sit up again just as my bedroom door flew open. Brady, Jacob, (my eyes widened) Jared, Embry and Sam walked in.

"Well, come right in," I groaned, running a hand through my hair. Let's face it, I probably looked like shit, but I didn't care about that. People were in my room - my room was the one place I was literally allowed to be alone. I didn't like people in my room. Sam stood menacingly by my bed, arms crossed over his chest, whilst Jared and Embry flanked him. Jacob and my brother looked slightly wary of them and stood off to the side. Somehow I didn't think that Sam was here to spoon feed me chicken soup.

"What exactly were you thinking, going off alone?" Sam asked. I scoffed and looked at my mother, who gave me a look – it read "just do as he asks." Yeah right.

"I don't have to tell you anything," I said, braver than I felt. "You're not my boss; I don't answer to you. Unlike those weaklings there," I pointed to Jared and Embry, "I don't have to follow you."

Sam's eyes burned into mine, but I didn't back down. Something in me had clicked, loosening my tongue after so long. Maybe being almost frozen and scared shitless had been a good thing.

"Fine," I caved. "You want to know why I was out at night, alone? I wanted to be alone. I was sick and tired of always being surrounded by people, people who coincidentally hate on me and pick on me for looking white. Some of those people just happen to follow you around like love-sick puppies."

I saw that my little speech had ruffled Sam's feathers slightly. He uncrossed his arms and tried to look not as menacing as he had tried be. I smirked; served him right. Jared and Embry shifted slightly as well, Embry rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Sam cleared his throat. "Well, uh, I'll have a talk with them about that. But next time, don't have an angsty teenage episode and run away, especially at night."

"Why?" I laughed. "It's La Push; nothing happens in La Push."

I saw Embry and Jared share a look; something was up, but they weren't telling anyone.

Sam nodded towards my mother who thanked him, probably for the billionth time. He and the two others left and it was just me, my mum, Brady and Jacob. He was the first to move once they had left. He came and sat on my bed opposite my mother, giving me a small smile, and then whacked me on the arm.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"That," he said, "was for making me worry so much, you turd!"

"Really Jake? You're calling me a turd?"

"Well you are one!" Brady called. He was trying to look stern, crossing his arms over his chest like Sam had done, standing at the foot of my bed. I laughed and then fell into another coughing fit. Man, standing up for yourself was tiring work.

My mum then left, saying that she was going to get food, which of course sent Brady towards the kitchen. It was just Jake and I. He motioned for me to move over so he could sit next to me.

"Thanks," I said, nudging his shoulder.

"What for?"

"For being my friend; for remembering stuff about me; for finding me," I shrugged. I looked down at the bed covers, embarrassed at having to admit 'feelings'.

"Well, for one, you don't have to thank me for being your friend; two, of course I remembered about the beach, it's all you ever talk about! And lastly, you don't need to thank me for finding you. I hate that I had to find you anyway, but that's beside the point. It wasn't me who found you, anyway," Jake trailed off, looking anywhere but at me. I looked at him curiously.

"What do you mean? Who else would it be?" I asked.

Jake shifted uncomfortably. His face looked pained and he looked like he'd been sentenced to death by flogging. "I was the one who suggested the beach, but I wasn't allowed to go and find you, only Sam and his crew were. They were all out looking for you, they seemed really worried about something, but when they found you it was like they had 'saved' you from something, or something…"

"Jake," my voice took on a low tone, "who found me?"

"You're not going to like this…" Jake wrung his hands together.

"WHAT?!"

"Told you, you weren't going to like it."

"Paul, Paul Lahote, as in the guy _who made it his life's mission to make mine miserable_, the guy who almost got into a fight _just yesterday_ because he didn't like Embry standing up for me, _he's the one who found me?_"

"Yes."

I looked at Jacob like he was nuts – which he so was – and just stared until he felt uncomfortable. He smiled awkwardly at me and then sighed.

"Okay, it sounds weird, and I know that with Paul, anything other than being a dick is weird for him, but you should have seen him, Andy," Jake pleaded. "When I saw him carrying you, it was like I was looking at another person. He wouldn't let anyone else touch you, he looked like he was going to be sick, he was so worried," Jake scoffed. He ran a hand over his face. His shoulders shook with contained laughter.

"What's so funny?" I asked. This caused him to laugh even more, and louder. His laughter was like a bark.

"Oh, man! It was hilarious – the guy was almost in tears! This is Paul Lahote we're talking about, and he was in _tears_ because he thought you were going to die!"

Apart from the whole 'almost dying' thing, I had to admit, it was hilarious. I joined in with Jake's laughter; man, it felt good to laugh. I instantly took that back – a sharp pain throbbed in my chest and I stopped laughing and started groaning instead. I clutched at my chest and heard Jake call my mum for my medication.

The noise in my house masked the whimper that came from the woods outside my window.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! I'm really happy at the response this story has gotten, so i decided to upload twice in one day! To reply to _Thetroublewithexes_'s request, there is going to be a Paul POV chapter soon, in which you find out how and when Paul imprinted on Andy. And yes, Paul's in for a looooooooooong ride! I am hoping to flesh out their relationship for a bit longer, before any of the drama in the books starts. After all, he was a real bully to her, and it doesn't seem realistic for her to just fall in love with him because of the imprint (though as you will see later, she's having a hard time fighting it!) Please review, even if it's to give some constructive criticism - that's the only way the story'll get better! Hope you enjoy!**

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Insanity

CH 4

It had been a week since, what I had dubbed, 'the incident'. My mum had eventually grounded me – though I'm not sure how effective that would be since I never went anywhere – and Jake had come by everyday after school with all my school assignments. No word from anyone else, thank god.

But today was my return to school. Jake had promised me when he had last come over a few days ago that no one was talking about it anymore. Damn, how I hated how small this town was that everyone knew everyone's business within minutes.

I acted like it was a normal day, dressed like it was a normal day. Maybe if I acted like I normally would, it would all feel normal and not like I had set off a crate-load of dynamite.

Dropping off Brady at school ("Do you promise to pick me up this time?" "Yeah, yeah, whatever kid"), I nervously made my way to school, feeling déjà vu seep into my blood stream. My hands were sweaty on the steering wheel and my legs wouldn't stop shaking.

What if everyone was still talking about me? What if they all noticed me? What if they made fun of me, tormented me? What if I didn't just have to deal with Sam's groupies and a bipolar Paul, what if I had to deal with… everyone else? I had tried so hard and for so long to be inconspicuous, for no one to notice me. It seemed that my glory days were over, for as I turned into the parking lot all eyes were on me. My hell was about to begin.

This is how it must feel like, I pondered, when you're walking to the hangman's noose. Jake had either lied, or had believed it when he said no one was talking about it anymore. My little runaway act was _all_ people could talk about. I was the centre of attention, everyone's eyes on me, and I absolutely _hated it_. Sure, some people might love the attention, but not this kind. This was not the kind of pity attention you got after going missing and nearly freezing to death; this was the kind of attention that made you worse than scum in the eyes of everyone else. All day, all I heard was "Attention seeker," and "Pale face," and "Emo," and god knows what else if I had stayed around to listen. I locked myself away in the bathroom during the breaks and made sure to leave when no one else was there. I didn't want any more rumours to spread about me, regardless if they were true or not.

I wiped away a lone tear as I exited the bathroom, not looking where I was going. I bumped into something hard and warm and stumbled backwards. I muttered a "Sorry" to the person I had hit and made my way around them. Or tried to, at least. A rough hand reached out and grabbed my arm, holding on rather tight.

"Hey, what the hell?" I started, and then froze. My annoyed and pained expression faded to be replaced by one of fear and confusion. Paul Lahote was gazing intently at me, his brow furrowed. His eyes lingered on my bloodshot ones and his chocolate orbs turned black. They then travelled down my face, as if checking for something, and paused on my lips. When I was nervous I tended to bite and tear at the skin, and that was what I was doing at that moment. I put down his fascination with my lips to the fact that they were the only thing of mine that was moving – apart from my heart.

Something had changed, I could feel it. Not just Paul - he seemed to have grown even more since our last encounter and he was now sporting similar clothes to Jared and Embry and the weird tribal tattoo that all the members of the 'Steroid Pack' seemed to have. Had something happened in the last twenty-four hours other than my disappearance? Looking into Paul's eyes, I no longer saw malice or pleasure or anger. His grip on my arm was no longer painful but both desperate and soothing. His face was no longer hard and brittle, something that I had often seen, but his expression seemed to soften the longer he looked at me.

Things were definitely weird.

"Can you let go of me, please?" I asked in a small voice, dropping my gaze to the floor. I felt his arm shake slightly but he dropped my arm, letting the blood flow through it again. He seemed unsure of what to do, almost awkward. I had never, in my life, seen Paul Lahote feel awkward about something. It made me want to laugh, but I thought that might provoke him. So I settled for a small smile.

Seeing my smile, Paul sent one back, his smile practically radiating happiness. He seemed to come to life, and cleared his throat. "Are you ok? How are you feeling? Did your mum give you your medication? If you want, I can go get you something, do you need anything?"

Ok, now I was confused. Paul was… being nice to me? Had I hit my head too? Was I unconscious, and this was some form of nightmare that was about to turn into a scene from Carrie? Were they going to throw pig's blood on me?

Paul shifted, as if he sensed my growing anxiety and took a few steps closer to me.

"Are you sure you're ok to be back? You don't look alright," Paul noted, stepping closer to me. His sudden closeness frightened me and I took a step back.

"I'm fine," I said, glad that my voice wasn't shaking. Paul's face fell and I suddenly felt like comforting him. Wait, why would I want to comfort Paul? I hated Paul! I didn't care what he thought, he was the cause of all this! My anger flared and I glared at Paul, who cowered under my stare like a small dog.

"What is your problem?" I asked. Paul looked at me confused. "My problem?"

"Yes," I seethed. "Your goddamn problem. Do you think this is funny? Torturing me one day and then acting all worried the next?"

"No, god, Andy," Paul sighed, arms out and coming ever closer. I backed away as fast as I could, shaking my head.

"No, no, you stay away from me!"

Paul stood still, as if he was stuck to the floor by my words. Thank god everyone was still at lunch, or we would have drawn a crowd.

I felt tears build up in my eyes and I hated myself for being so emotional. "You do not get to care whether I am alright or not. You, Paul, are the reason I am not alright. You, and your stupid friends, and your bloody prejudice are the reasons that I am not alright."

Paul seemed to shrink before my eyes, his eyes drooping and his back slouching. I hated the feeling that grew inside me, the feeling of wanting to be wrapped in his arms and make all his pain go away.

"Just stay the hell away from me, Paul."

After my fight with Paul, I just let everything slide over me. Classes went by in a blur of colours whilst I was numb to everything around me. Before I knew it, I was driving towards the Junior High, looking out for the giant with floppy hair that was my brother. Brady waved towards me from the curb, climbing in when I stopped. I vaguely heard him say something to which I replied with a nod of my head. I felt his eyes on me but I ignored them; I concentrated on getting home, and not on my brother or the suffocating feeling of dread that was in my chest.

It was only when I got home had I realised something important; where was Jacob? I hadn't seen him in a few days, and he wasn't at school. I didn't think, I just did. I grabbed my car keys and shouted to my mum that I was going out to see Jake. I sure hoped it was nothing serious because I really needed to just see my friend.

It had started to rain as soon as I got in my car; I used to think of the rain as something calming, but the ache in my chest told me that the rain wouldn't calm me today. I sped down the road, not caring whether I got pulled over. My gut instinct was telling me that something was wrong, and it had to do with Jake.

I practically jumped out of my car and ran to his house, banging on the door. I didn't care if I woke up Billy, I needed to see him. Opening the door, Billy greeted me with a tight smile.

"Oh, Andy, so nice to see you."

"Hi Billy," I said breathlessly. "Is Jake here?"

Billy hesitated for a moment, some internal war playing out in his eyes. "One second," he said finally, sighing as if he had no choice. I thanked him and stood outside.

Jake came round the side of the house, looking worse for wear. My eyes widened and I gasped in shock; gone was his long, lustrous hair, now cropped short. A tribal tattoo shone on his copper skin, which I could see most of since he wasn't wearing a shirt. I linked the sudden beefness, the tattoo, the short hair…

"No, no, no, you said you wouldn't! You said you wouldn't play Sam's game, Jake!"

Jacob looked pained and hung his head. He looked up at me with pleading eyes, the rain sparkling in his hair. He tried to walk towards me but I threw my hands up, stopping him. Something hardened in his features, an anger I hadn't seen before, and Jacob stood at his full, towering height.

"What do you know, Andy? You don't know anything! Sam, he's trying to help me, to help us! Why can't you see past your own prejudice and just accept that Sam is a good guy?"

I scoffed. "Me, see past my prejudice? Jake, just the other day you were saying how you hated the guy! And now, you've joined him? What is this?"

Jake balled his hands into fists in frustration. Shaking his head, he chuckled darkly.

"You know what, I didn't expect you to understand. All you care about is yourself, Andy, you always have. You were always so caught up in your own fucking drama that you never asked about me! I needed you, as a friend, but of course you weren't there," he scoffed. "All you could think about was stupid Paul Lahote."

Now it was my turn to get angry.

"What do you mean, 'All I could think about was Paul'? Need I remind you, the guy bullied me for three years? Hated my guts? Tripped me up, hid my books, slammed me into lockers, pantsed me outside the boys' locker room? Do you think I actually liked any of that?"

Jake got dangerously close to me, shaking in anger. "Yes," he seethed. "I think you do. Because what else would cause you to not notice that your own friend was in pain, huh? I needed you, Andy! Here I was, dying inside, because the girl I loved was being manipulated by a fucking bloodsucker and yet you were too busy with your stupid imprint to even notice-"

"Wait, what?"

Jake's eyes shot wide open when he realised what he had said. I looked at him, puzzled. Bloodsucker? Imprint? Girl he loved?

What had I not noticed?

Jake backed away, fearful. I tried to touch him but he wouldn't let me, taking steps backwards to get away from me. He was shaking his head violently and looked like he was about to be sick.

"J-Just forget it, Andy. Forget all of it. You and I, we can't be friends anymore," Jake gulped, fear in his eyes. I couldn't tell if he really meant it or not; he looked like he was having trouble getting the words out.

"Just stay away from me Andy."

He ran off into the woods, the rain coming down in full force now. I stood there, shocked. I was freezing and shaking, but I didn't care. I had somehow lost my friend, the only friend I had, and it was all my fault. I wiped the tears that were mixing in with the rain.

It was all my fault.


	5. Chapter 5

Insanity

CH 5

My mum peered out from the kitchen when I entered the house and immediately ran to me. Worry covered her face and she ran her hands over my shoulders, looking all over me as if to assess any damage.

"Oh, honey, what's wrong?"

I hadn't noticed I was crying until she wiped the silent tears from my cheeks. I shook my head, not knowing if I could talk. Sighing, she dropped it, and instead sent me upstairs to have a hot bath and dry off.

Later, I was sitting on my bed, my wet hair hanging limp on my shoulders. I was looking at my wall, where I had posted pictures over the years. Some were of me and my family, others just scenery pictures. The rest were pictures of my friends when we were younger; Jacob, Jared, Embry, Quil. All no longer talking to me, and no longer my friends. Jared had gone off to Sam first, then Embry, then Jake. Quil had stopped talking to me a few weeks ago after a fight with Embry, and Jake… Well, I don't think he was going to talk to me ever again. He had been right about everything.

I thought about it carefully and everything he had said to me was true. The times when he would disappear and then come back with a huge smile on his face; I just put those down to his happy personality. When he had gone off for a few days at the end of last year and had come back looking like someone had ripped out his heart. And then just a few months ago, when he had a spring in his step, a huge smile on his face, and was often gone, said to be in his garage the whole time. Of course there was a girl – I smacked myself in the forehead – how could I have been so stupid! Something must have happened, I realised. Maybe this 'bloodsucker' – a nickname possibly? – had stolen his girl. Or she wasn't in love with Jake, like he was. He was my friend, possibly my best friend; of course I could tell when he was in love. I had read enough about love to know at least the basic signs. I sighed and laughed at myself; I had only ever read about love, how could I be an expert on noticing it? Honestly I think I pitied myself sometimes.

The sun was setting as I looked out my window. Getting up, I made my way to the glass and pushed the window upwards, letting the cool breeze in. I shivered and rubbed my arms for warmth. Closing my eyes for a second, I remembered the heat that had protected me.

"Paul Lahote was the one who found you."

Jake's voice drifted through my ears and jerked my eyes open. Confused, tired and cold, I shut the window with a bit too much force. No, I was not thinking about Paul. I couldn't think about Paul. Paul was a bully, always would be, he didn't care for me, he only cared about tormenting me. Yes, that was what this was; he was tormenting me. In my head.

I think I'm losing my mind.

I gazed out of the window, still very much confused, when a movement outside caught my eye. Looking closely, I noticed a faint outline of… something… in the woods. I caught a hint of amber, and before I knew it I was running down the stairs and out of the backdoor, searching for those amber eyes that were etched into my memory.

The leaves crunched and sagged under my feet, reminding me that I was outside, in the cold, without shoes. _Without shoes_. This was nuts, I was going crazy. I had imagined those eyes at the beach, I knew it. But why did it seem as though they were watching me again?

I slowly walked further into the woods, the greenery surrounding me. I looked back and was glad that I could still see my house. I carefully pulled some branches back and looked around the trees. I was so sure that I had seen the eyes. I was about to give up and go back until I heard a twig snapped. I froze, my heart beating frantically in my chest, my breath the only thing I could hear. Slowly, I turned my head around, looking for the source of the noise. I gulped, sure that whatever was here could here my beating heart.

My heart rate skyrocketed as a howl echoed through the woods. I hadn't realised how long I had been standing in the woods, but suddenly everything was dark and I couldn't see my house anymore.

I was going to die, in the woods, in my Minnie Mouse pyjamas.

Why couldn't I have chosen a better funeral outfit?

A pair of red eyes, peering out from the brush, interrupted my sadistic humour. My breath hitched in my throat and I choked. No air was going to my lungs, just fear. Unadulterated, pure, white-hot fear.

"Oh, god," I whimpered.

A low growl was heard from my right but I couldn't let go of those red eyes. They were crimson, like blood. Probably like my blood, when whatever belonged to those eyes ripped me apart.

Now I'm even scaring myself.

My legs unglued themselves from the damp ground as the red eyes seemed to get closer. My heart was in my ears, my palms, my eyes. I stumbled backwards, almost tripping and landing on my face. I looked back, the eyes gone, but it didn't stop me from running like hell through the branches. I whacked a few out of the way, feeling the thorns tear at my clothes and my skin. It was only until the yellow light of my house came into view did I allow myself to breathe. I watched my mum from the kitchen, cooking, and preceded to walk back silently into the house. I looked back at the woods once I had gotten to the safety of my bedroom, watching cautiously from my window.

What had I seen?

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**Ooooh, what had she seen? we see Andy slowly start to come out of her shell in this chapter! is it Paul or something else? glad you all liked the last chapter! To answer _SilverSwagxX_'s question, i am trying to write longer chapters, but sometimes the chapter just has to stop at a certain point because it just feels better that way (if you get what i'm saying?) and Paul's POV is coming up in the next chapter! Can we get at least five reviews for it?Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Here it is, the thing you've all been waiting for... PAUL'S POV :] (hope he doesn't come off too OOC, but it seems unlikely that even Paul would find it hard not to be sappy about his imprint right?)**

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Insanity

CH 6

Paul's POV

I watched from the bushes as Andy came running out of her house, stopping at the start of the woods. I silently watched her, in awe of her. Even with wet hair – were those Minnie Mouse pyjamas? – she still looked like the most beautiful girl in the whole world. And I hated that fact.

"Wow, you're so nice, Paul."

I growled low so that Andy couldn't hear.

"I don't need your _sarcasm_, Jared."

"Whatever dude. Why don't you just go talk to her?"

I signed inwardly. I couldn't talk to her. She hated me, she didn't understand what was going on. And she had told me to stay away from her. Whatever she asked of me, I thought bitterly, I would do. Even if that meant staying away from her.

"You deserve it."

"Shut up Jacob."

"That's enough," came another voice. Yes, I hear voices in my head. I thought I was going crazy the first time it happened, but I wasn't. The voices still drove me crazy, though. I hated this pack mentality thing.

"Paul, get away from there. I told you to stay away from her in your wolf form, she can't know yet."

"Why?" I asked Sam. Just because he was my alpha didn't mean he could tell me to stay away from Andy. Only she had the power to do that; which unfortunately for me, she was exercising.

"Paul, she will be afraid of you, and that will only make things worse. Go, _now_."

I stood my ground; I wasn't going to leave her, even if she didn't know it. She looked cold and scared as hell. Her head was swinging frantically right and left, looking around for something, and I could hear her heart like a drum in my ears. She was afraid, or worried. I needed to comfort her.

"No, Paul!"

Sam stood opposite me, his eyes seen from a mile away. I heard Andy's breath hitch and knew she could see him too. He was purposely frightening her to scare her off. He was scaring her, and that meant that he was harming her.

No one harmed Andy.

"Stop it Sam. I'll go, ok? Just stop it, you're scaring her!"

I could feel her fear as if it was my own. My eyes followed her as she stumbled backwards, ready to phase and help her. But I felt Sam tugging at the back of my mind.

"I'm coming, just let me make sure she gets home safe."

Sam reluctantly let me go, so I followed her in the darkness until she got to the safety of her home. My eyes followed her once more when she got to her window, still looking at the woods.

Could she sense me out here? Was that why she came out? Could she feel the bond of the imprint?

"It is possible," Sam pondered. I heard Jacob scoff. In any other situation, we would agree that this imprinting shit was just that – shit. But in cases like this, I couldn't care. There was a girl up there who was still fearfully gazing out at the woods, who was ignoring me. And shit or not, it felt real. Fighting the pull was too much, and soon it would be too much for her. I wouldn't force her into anything, but I knew the force of the pull would scare her and confuse her, and she'd hate me even more.

I felt the rest of the pack leave but I still waited in the shadows. I kept my eyes on her window, wondering if she would look down and I'd get to see her eyes again. The eyes that looked brown from afar but were actually a mixture of different hues of gold; the eyes that sparkled when she laughed and swirled like a whirlpool when she cried. And I definitely knew how she looked when she cried.

"Yeah, you sure do," Jake said. I seethed at the intrusion in my mind but knew there was nothing I could do about it.

The russet wolf trotted up to me and sat down next to me, turning his eyes to Andy's window. He seemed conflicted too, but not just about Bella. He had sent away Andy too, like Sam had told him to. But I still hated him for hurting her.

"Really? You sure have big balls to want to hate me, Paul. Because of you, because of me," he admitted, "she doesn't have anyone. We both know how strong she is, but she can't do it alone."

"I know Jake," I sighed. "I know."

I was still outside her window a few hours later, the rest of the pack either patrolling other areas of the res or long gone to bed. But here I was, still keeping an eye on Andy, even though she hated me.

I wished I could change her mind.

I scoffed at myself; god, I was starting to sound like Jared or Sam. I was turning sappy because of this stupid imprint thing. The only thing I hated about being a wolf, and yet here I was, outside the window of a girl who, up until a few weeks ago, I had despised.

I wasn't going to lie. I had disliked her. Maybe not hated her, but I didn't like her. Maybe on some deep, deep, _deep_ level, I had picked on her not just because she looked different from everyone else, with her light complexion and light hair, but because she was different. She wasn't like all the other girls, and that's what made her stand out. That was what made her beautiful, even back then. It was possible that my picking on her was because I didn't like myself thinking that she was beautiful. But, looking back, it didn't justify the shit I had put her through.

It had all changed though, and I still asked myself whether I thought that was a good thing or not. It was the same day I had first shifted; that fight in the classroom had got my blood pumping and the fever had set in. I couldn't understand why the others were protecting her and it just annoyed the fuck out of me! A few minutes after she had left the room, so did I, but I had only just made it into the woods before I shifted.

And everything changed from there.

Sam, Jared and Embry were there to calm me down. Sure, the voices were weird at first, but I got used to it. I was probably the only one to take the news that I was a werewolf so well – it was awesome! The feeling of running as a wolf was like nothing I had ever felt, the energy you felt and the rush you got were indescribable.

Course, it all got worse once word got out that Andy was missing. Jared and Embry practically begged Sam to go look for her, who did, once he had been told by the Elders to go look as well. I was reluctant to go, but the others forced me, Jared and Embry blaming our fight and me earlier.

Damn pack mentality.

So we went looking for her. Jacob had told Sam in his human form that she liked going to the beach to be alone, so that's where we went. Jared and Embry shifted to their human forms so that they could look out in the open, so me and Sam stayed in the shadows. I crept through the bushes opposite the beach and thought I saw something huddled and shivering. Something in me reached out to it, its hair shimmering and flowing in the light evening breeze, and then she looked up.

It was Andy. She looked like she had been crying at some point; her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

But that wasn't what kept me looking.

It was like nothing mattered anymore but her. All ties I had to anything – my friends, my family – didn't matter anymore. I felt like I had been deprived of oxygen and it wasn't until I looked into her eyes that I felt like I could breathe. My whole body yearned for her, to be near her. But suddenly I felt this unknown fear in me; it was her. I could feel her fear, her fear of me. I shrank back into the shadows so that she wouldn't be frightened anymore.

"Go, Paul," Sam said gently. I didn't have to be told twice; I shifted and took the cutoffs that were tied to my thigh. After putting them on, I ran as fast as I could to her, scooping up her body gently. Her small body was shaking violently and I instantly felt protective of her; why was she out here all alone in the cold? And then I remembered. I was the reason she was here. I wrapped my arms even closer around her small body, feeling her get closer to me for warmth. I placed a kiss on her forehead, not noticing the others start to run to us. All I could think of was her and how stupid I had been.

"I'm sorry Andy," I whispered.

It was only when I was away from her and her intoxicating scent that I realised what had happened. I had imprinted. On Andy Fuller. She was my soul mate and we were bound to each other.

Oh shit.

Seriously? I couldn't have just imprinted on some random girl at school? It had to be her, didn't it? The universe just had to fuck with me and pick the one girl in the world who hated me, for me to imprint on. I struck out violently at a tree, feeling the bark splinter under my fist.

I didn't want to imprint, especially on Andy. I hated the feeling of having no say in who I was going to spend my life with. When I looked at Sam and all the trouble his imprinting had caused and how sappy he was around Emily, I wanted to puke; was I going to be like that around Andy? I cringed. Oh god, why me?


	7. Chapter 7

Insanity

CH 7

The days turned into weeks, which seemed like an eternity. Despite being surrounded by people daily, I had never felt more alone. Jake was gone, Quil had since joined the group, and I watched them from afar just, being themselves. It was like nothing had changed for them. And yet, everything had changed. I silently watched as they cut class, yawned frequently, ate like they hadn't eaten in days. I did all this from the sidelines, careful not to be noticed. But I felt his eyes on me every second.

Paul was, in a way, still Paul. He still stomped around like he was better than everyone else, still bullied a few kids. But this time, he had people to back him up, to laugh with. I also heard no new stories of his sleeping around, something the girls often complained about in the girls' bathroom. I let my eyes wander once, when he wasn't looking, just to see if I could pinpoint the change. He sat straighter, his muscles were bigger, it was as if his authority had grown somehow. He turned before I could look away and caught my eyes. It was only for a few seconds but it seemed like eternity; his eyes positively brightened when they met mine and I forgot how to breathe. I tore my eyes away painfully and rushed out of the cafeteria. That was the last time I had looked at Paul.

It was now February; the rain was still going but the cold had gone some. La Push High was on hiatus for spring break, which was almost over. And unfortunately for me, it meant that my nights were free.

"Andy! Come on sweetheart, we don't want to be late!"

I groaned and rolled onto my back on my bed, looking at the ceiling. My mother was related to the Clearwaters on her grandmother's side, so it meant that though my mum wasn't technically allowed on the council, she still had a link to some of the old tribe lines, so she was seen as an important figure in the community. Or that's what my grandmother Sue said anyway when she invited us to the bonfire/council meeting tonight. Brady was, of course, glad to be going because Sam's fiancée Emily would be cooking. Even I had to admit it; the woman had some magic hands. But that wasn't why I didn't want to go. I didn't want to go because I knew who would be there.

Though the kids at school saw the 'Steroid Pack' as troublemakers, the Elders saw them as 'protectors' who watched over the town. They were seen as heroes, and so were praised by the Elders. It was inevitable that they would be there tonight, so I wouldn't be. No one could make me go.

Or so I thought. I scuffed my shoe on a rock by the road as my mum picked up the batch of cookies she had made from the car. Brady was practically salivating at the mouth. I on the other hand was standing moodily, actively living the teenage stereotype and kept my hands buried in the pockets of my hoodie. I had planned it all out as my brother had kidnapped me and thrown me in the car; I would ignore everyone, they would then ignore me and I could soon go back to my books. I sighed; I had a sad life.

I reluctantly followed my family and trudged through the sand to the bonfire. I shivered from the memories of the last time I was here and looked back to the line of trees and bushes where I had seen the amber eyes for the first time. It somehow felt like they were still watching me. I turned around and found six pairs of eyes trained on me; Jared, Embry, Quil, Jake, Sam and Paul. I ignored the confused and anxious looks of the six men and instead followed my mother who was approaching Emily. I glanced out of the corner of my eye and saw Leah Clearwater, my cousin, sulking in the background. I wondered if she had been dragged here too. I left my mum with Emily and walked over to Leah who was sitting alone on a tree trunk a little further away from the meeting.

"Hey Leah," I said, wondering if she would reply. She looked up to see who it was and, luckily for me, didn't grimace at my presence, like she did almost everyone else. I sat down next to her and looked at the scene; the Elders all sitting round, looking all high and mighty, and then there were the 'protectors' or whatever you want to call them, and then there was my family, sticking out like a sore thumb because like it or not, we weren't considered a part of this tribe. Not anymore.

"I thought the Elders were icing your family out?" Leah suddenly asked.

I shrugged. "Me too. That's how it is at school. Guess your mum must've talked some sense into their little heads."

Leah nodded in understanding, smirking slightly. "Yeah, she has the power to do that."

I turned to my cousin and looked at her, noticing the limpness of her hair and the dark circles under her eyes.

"I'm sorry about your dad," I whispered. I watched as she tensed at the mention of her father's death just a few weeks ago. A heart attack whilst on a hunting trip for the wolves I kept hearing.

Leah looked down at her feet. My cousin was always distant, that's how I had always known her. But she wasn't so distant with me. I felt eyes on us but I couldn't care; this was my cousin, and she was hurting.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, looking away. I gave her a few seconds to gather herself so she didn't feel like I was attacking her.

"No," she said finally, sounding like her old self.

"Ok," I whispered. I grabbed her hand and took it between my own, squeezing it slightly. I felt her grip mine back and knew she appreciated my silence.

"Hey, why does Paul keep glaring at me?"

I looked towards the group huddled around the fire and saw that, yes, Paul was glaring at Leah. He was eyeing her and her hands warily, like he thought she was hurting me.

"I don't know. I don't have anything to do with him," I said monotonously. His dark eyes glanced at mine briefly and then he turned away, looking deflated.

Leah leaned close to me and whispered, "I think someone has a crush on you," into my ear, her voice taking on a singsong like quality. I cringed; god, was that what was going on?

"No, he doesn't like me," I said, shaking my head. "The guy bullied me for three years, I don't think he would make me face plant the floor to show me his undying love."

Leah giggled, which caused me to start giggling too. I saw my mother turn round and smile at us, putting a finger to her lips to get us to quiet down. I bit the inside of my cheek to get myself to stop laughing but seeing Leah make 'kissy-faces' in Paul's direction caused me to want to laugh even more. I clutched at my stomach and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Ooh, someone looks mad," Leah said. I glanced up and saw that Paul was looking at us once again, this time his eyes dark with anger and defeat.

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**Hey guys! Glad you all liked Paul's POV! This story now has over 1,400 views so thank you! This chapter might seem confusing in some places, but it is intentionally confusing and everything will be revealed through the story regarding the Elder's problems with Andy's family. I've set out the events of this story over the timeline of the books, so at some point everything will meet. Also, i realise that some events or people don't match with what happens in the books at this point, but that was also intentional so that it would fit into my story - e.g the fact that Embry turned before Paul and such.**

**SilverSwagxX: It's entirely possible that Paul did like Andy before, but in case you're confused, they'll have a big confrontation at some point and everything will be explained, so don't worry. And yeah, Andy is short for Andrea, similar to the whole Bella-not-Isabella thing. Thanks for all your reviews!**

**Also shout out to Guest (Paul is sooooo fucked, wait till you see what i have in store for him in a couple of chapters ;] ) and JCreader (his feelings are meant to come off confused, because he is confused - on one hand, he loves Andy, but on the other, he doesn't because he still resents her and the whole imprinting thing) for the reviews!**

**Can we try and get five more reviews for the next chapter? Thanks!**


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm glad you all liked the last chapter! I've planned to continue this story through Eclipse and BD as well, and it's come up to over 20 chapters so far, but it's not going to stick to the story like glue; like i said before, i have changed a few things and swapped around a few things just so it makes sense in the story, but if you feel it's not working, feel free to tell me! Also, Pandy will happen eventually (what do you guys think of the ship name?) but they've still got a few things to work out in the meantime (in reference to _braidyforever_'s review, there will be more beef!). My half term is almost over and that means that my GCSE exams will start up again, so my update's will be a lot slower. i have two/three more chapters written after this one - would you like me to upload them all at some point this weekend or keep doing it one a day so that the chapters last longer? Please comment!**

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Insanity

CH 8

I opened my eyes and found myself… in the woods? The leaves crunched under my hands and I felt the moss squelch underneath me. How was I in the woods? The last thing I remembered was going to bed after that pointless council meeting. Standing up, I brushed the dirt from my hands and looked around.

The woods had an eeriness that hadn't been there the last time I was in them. Fog clouded my vision so I could only see a few feet in front of me. My breathing picked up; I couldn't see, couldn't hear, anything.

I made it to a clearing which had less fog, which meant that I could see more, but whatever was out there could see me too. My palms were sweating from the adrenaline pumping through my veins – what the hell was going on?

Suddenly I heard a crunch of leaves behind me and I froze. Heavy pants and the thudding of paws on the earth were heard behind me. Wait, _paws_?

Oh god, oh god. I couldn't breathe, it was as if someone had taken all the oxygen from the air. My breathing became erratic and loud, causing whatever was slowly stalking towards me to stop just a few feet away from me.

I thought to myself, 'Well it looks like I'm dying, might as well find out what is behind me.'

I turned around and gasped. Standing there was the biggest wolf I had ever seen. It shimmering coat was a dark silver, covering its massive body. The eyes were what drew me, however. They were amber, the ones I had seen! This was it, the wolf that had been appearing everywhere!

"Andy, get away from him!"

Turning around, I looked on confused as Brady emerged from the fog. He looked, well, crazy; his shirt was torn, his hair everywhere and he had a crazed, fearful look in his eyes.

"Brady, what are you doing here? What's going on?"

"STAY AWAY FROM HER!" he screamed at the wolf. But when I turned around, it wasn't a wolf anymore.

It was Paul.

He was standing there, dressed just in a pair of cutoffs, but his eyes were still amber, like the wolf's. The heat emanating from him was pulling me towards him, and I couldn't fight it. Paul smirked, showing his rather large, rather sharp teeth. They looked almost… _wolf-like._

"Oh shit," I muttered.

"Andy!" Brady screamed. He continued to scream and fell to the forest floor, writhing. Running to help my brother, I laid a hand on his shoulder, hissing and drawing it back. His skin was white-hot!

"God, Brady, you're burning!"

He continued to scream, a blood-curdling scream. I was panicking by now, my hands shaking. What was I meant to do, what was going on?

"Get-away-from-me!" Brady seethed through gritted teeth. The rest of his clothes that weren't torn were starting to split at the seams, dark fur starting to sprout from them. His body started to change its form and his eyes glowed amber in the night sky. The fog disappeared and opened up to a night sky that was dominated by the full moon.

I gasped, grabbing hold of the mattress. I panted for air as my eyes got accustomed to the scene around me.

I was in my bedroom. It was still night, the moon shining through my window and onto my bed. I placed a hand on my chest and felt my heart racing. It was a dream? The whole thing? It had felt so real…

But maybe it was.

Something stirred in my brain and I shot up. I tiptoed over to my desk where my laptop was sitting. Turning it on and opening the internet browser, I typed in the words before I knew what I was typing.

Quileute wolf legends.

A gut instinct was telling me that this is how I would get all my answers.

The sun streaming in through my window soon replaced the moon. It was a sunny Saturday, a very rare incident in Washington, and the last weekend before school started again. But how could I worry about school, when there was something bigger going on here.

Werewolves.

That was it. That was the reason for all the boys joining Sam, for disappearing for days on end, the growth spurts, the whole 'protectors' thing, all of it.

They were werewolves.

It said it all in the Quileute legends, how could I have not seen that! I knew those legends – everyone did – but I never believed them. I could never believe that Taha Aki actually shape-shifted into a wolf to protect his tribe. I don't think anyone could. But it was true, it had to be.

Either that or I was crazy.

I probably looked crazy; my hair was a mess and there were surely dark circled under my eyes. But the fact that there were _werewolves_ was more important than what I looked like right now.

I thought back to what Jake had said.

"_Here I was, dying inside, because the girl I loved __was being manipulated __by a fucking __**bloodsucker **__and yet you were too busy with your stupid __**imprint**__ to even __notice-__"_

I had yet to come across anything on 'imprints' but I had found out the deal on 'bloodsuckers'. Oh yeah, there were vampires here as well.

What was this, a teenage fantasy novel?

Apparently the vampires and wolves were mortal enemies, and the wolves came about to protect the tribe from the vampires. I felt giddy; werewolves, vampires? This couldn't be true!

And yet all the evidence pointed to that conclusion.

Getting dressed and running a quick brush through the mess that was my hair, I ran downstairs and past my mum, who was looking at me quizzically.

"Can't talk, going to see Jake!" I shouted back. I heard her saying something about being back for dinner but I didn't reply. I couldn't let this go on, I had to find out if my theory was true, whilst I still had all this adrenaline fuelling me.

I drove like a madman down to Jake's house, hoping he was there. Jumping out of my car, I ran to his door and banged on the door.

Billy opened the door, looking fresh-faced and confused.

"Andy? What are you doing here?"

"Hi Billy, is Jake here?" I asked out of breath. His face hardened and his body tensed.

"No, but I'll tell him you stopped by," he said tersely. Before he could shut the door, I put my foot out to stop him. I looked Billy square in the eyes; even in a wheelchair, this man was a force to be reckoned with, being Chief and all.

"I need to see him Billy," I said. I had no idea where all this courage was coming from, I mean, I was disobeying the tribe Chief! Billy just looked at me, and for a moment is seemed like he was about to smile, but no such luck; he slammed the door in my face.

I huffed in frustration; now what? I stomped over to my car, thinking that I should come back a little later, when I heard laughter coming from the woods. I would recognise that laugh anywhere.

It was Jake.

True, he was with the rest of the _pack_, but he was there. That meant I could talk to him.

He was coming towards the house so I met him halfway, anger fuelling my steps. Each face present fell once they had seen me storming over. Both Jake and Paul tensed at my presence whilst Sam held them back, like the leader he was.

"Andy, what are you doing he-" Embry started to ask. I shut him up with a hand in his direction.

"Tell me the truth Jake," I said. His eyes hardened and I knew he knew what I was asking.

"Tell you the truth about what?"

"Do not play dumb with me, Jacob Black," I replied, getting even more angered by the minute. Paul looked warily between me and Jake, wondering what was going on.

" I figured it out; I figured it all out. The sudden changes, why you all seemed to abandon everyone in exchange for Sam, why you were so angry at that guy you called a 'bloodsucker' for stealing your girl, my dreams…"

Paul looked at Jacob; he was shaking slightly, his fists balled at his side. "You told her? You couldn't keep your mouth shut for one second Jake and now you've gone and endangered her life by telling her!"

Sam placed a hand on Paul's shoulder, stopping him from punching Jake. Sam looked at me. "What did you mean, your dream?"

"I had a dream last night," I said. "I woke up in the forest and saw the wolf that I had seen everywhere, and then Brady was there telling me to get away from it, but it turned out to be Paul, but then Brady changed as well and that's when I woke up."

I saw Sam send a murderous look to Paul out of the corner of his eye.

"Something told me it was true so I looked up the Quileute legends. And it is true, isn't it? You're werewolves, all of you," I admitted breathlessly. The high I had been on was slowly coming down, and all the worry and stress that had been hidden by the adrenaline were slowly catching up to me.

"Yes," Paul finally said. Sam eyed him but Paul shook his head. "If she wants to know, she'll find out."

He turned back to me. "Yes, we're werewolves."

I let out a sigh. "Okay then."

And then I fainted.


	9. Chapter 9

**VERY IMPORTANT A/N AT THE BOTTOM!**

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Insanity

CH 9

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the heat. It was soothing and comfortable, not unbearable, which is the only reason I wanted more of it. That's what I told myself. I groaned and opened my eyes, feeling the beginnings of a headache coming. All the voices that had been talking before I opened my eyes stopped.

I blinked once then twice, rubbing at my eyes. I was lying on something soft and warm. Once my eyes had gotten accustomed to the harsh lighting of the room, I realised that it wasn't a _what_ I was lying on, but a _who_.

I had been curled up in the arms of none other than Paul Lahote.

My eyes widened to the size of plates and I sat up, moving away from Paul. I noticed his face fall but I didn't care. He hadn't drawn a moustache on my face or something had he?

I looked round at all the people staring at me. Jared and Quil looked like they wanted to burst out laughing, whilst Embry had an amused glint in his eye. Jacob was watching me warily from the corner, his arms crossed over his chest, whilst Sam was sitting in a chair looking at me sternly.

Seriously, was there something on my face?

The laughter from the guys told me I had accidentally said that out loud. I felt Paul shift next to me on the sofa so that he ended up closer to me than he was. I moved my arm so that we weren't touching, but I felt as though moving off the sofa would be rude. I didn't want to hurt him, for some reason. These weird feelings I was having towards Paul were starting to confuse the heck out of me.

"Nice going with the fainting thing," Jared joked.

"Yeah, now at least Emily doesn't feel left out about the whole fainting-when-finding-out thing," Quil said.

At first I was confused, and then it all came rushing back to me. All the men currently looking at me were werewolves.

I was down with that. I think.

Jake saw the anxiety in my eyes and walked over, kneeling next to me.

"I know it's a lot to take in, Andy, but it's ok," he said calmly. "We won't bite," he joked, smiling his wolfish grin at me.

"Much," Jared replied cheekily, throwing a wink in Paul's direction. The latter shot him a dark look, his knuckled cracking. I had the sudden urge to calm him, to place my hand on his arm. But I refrained; one, that would be weird. Two, that would be _really weird_.

Something Quil had said made me realise that someone was missing. "Hey, where is Emily?"

From the looks that went round, and the dark look that came over Sam's face, I gathered that I probably should've kept my mouth shut. I used to be so good at just melting away and not getting noticed, when had that changed? Oh yeah. The day I stood up for myself; I knew nothing good would come of that.

"She's away for a few days, visiting family," came a rough voice next to me.

I had definitely hit my head this time, or I was still delirious from my blackout, but hearing Paul's voice like that, all gravely and serious, well, it was hot. _Really _hot. I took a deep breath and turned to him, shocked to see a small smirk playing on the edge of his lips.

Why was I focusing on his lips?

I nodded in reply, not ignoring the awkward silence that came after. I looked around the boys and a sadness overtook me. These guys were werewolves. And from what I had read, they didn't really have a choice in the matter. Their genes just decided that they had to risk their lives everyday for people who thought of them as bad guys, like I had. They probably weren't allowed to tell their parents – I mean, its not everyday you give birth to a wolf, right?

Sam, after recovering from the silence, leaned forwards, placing his elbows on his knees. His eyes looked at me like they were looking through my soul. It was kind of freaking me out, to be honest.

"You know you can't tell anyone about this?" he said seriously.

"I know," I replied.

"Because no one would believe you if you did," he said. I narrowed my eyes at his rudeness; did he really not trust me?

"Trust me, I don't think anyone would want to believe that the people they know turn into giant, scary werewolves."

I felt Paul freeze next to me and I wondered if maybe I had been too harsh; I was describing him, and my friends, when I called them giant and scary.

Sam looked at me for a moment, and then shockingly, he smiled. He looked towards Paul. "I like her. She's got balls."

I scoffed. That description was the exact opposite of who I was.

"Well, since Emily's not here, how about you cook Andy?" Quil asked, his face full of childish innocence. Pssht, Quil, innocent? That's so funny.

Paul growled from next to me. "She's not your maid, Quil."

"No, it's fine," I soothed Paul (soothed? I swear, I'm going nuts). "Besides, you guys didn't kill me, so I guess I sort of owe you."

Jared, Embry and Quil all let out whoops of joy at the prospect of someone cooking. I laughed along with them, their excitement contagious. Jake chuckled at the antics of the others, but I could tell he was happy too. I walked to the kitchen and felt a body follow me. Paul grabbed me by the arm once we had got to the kitchen. I looked down at his hand, reminded of the last time he had done that. It seemed he was too, because he looked down and sheepishly let go, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. I noticed he tended to do that a lot. Did I make him nervous?

"You don't have to do this for them, really," he said.

"I know, but it's true. I do sort of owe them for being so okay about me knowing. It's not my secret to tell and I sort of barged in on it," I admitted. I furrowed my brow in confusion; had I just admitted something to Paul? He noticed that too; he smiled big, glad at this progress between us. I scoffed; maybe I could be civil towards Paul, but that would be the only progress in our relationship. I was not, ever, going to forgive Paul. And I wasn't going to give into these crazy, delusion feelings I had, whatever they were. No, I was going to stay away from Paul Lahote.

If I could, that is.

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**dun dun dunnnnnnnnn! What's going to happen next? Where is Emily? Will Andy be able to stay away from Paul? Does Sam actually have a sense of humour? Will Quil ever be taken seriously? Will our poor wolves starve to death? find out soon! (jk ;] )**

***GUYS!* Important message: I have one more chapter that's written fully (a long one too!) which will be uploaded tomorrow. _it will be my last for a few days, a week tops, as my exams start up again._ Sorry for the inconvenience, but life has to go on! I will try to write as much as possible when i'm not revising, so wish me luck!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay guys, this is my last chapter for a little while until my exams calm down. This is a longer chapter though, so don't worry! The last chapter left a few questions unanswered, but i've planned everything out so any questions you guys have will get answered at some point. This chapter is an angsty, action-packed one, which will lead us on to the actual storyline of NM. Hope you guys enjoy, and wish me luck for my exams!**

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Insanity

CH 10

You'd think that finally knowing the big secret would quench my curiosity, right?

It did not.

How was I supposed to go about my normal life knowing that werewolves and vampires existed? How was I supposed to be alright with knowing that whenever my friends were missing from school, they were off protecting our town?

The morning after finding out was a weird one. It was like I was just running on autopilot; I didn't really have any enthusiasm for anything. Not even English class could placate my numbness.

I sat in my usual seat in the back corner, thinking about how I could just get away with doing nothing for the lesson, when I heard the chair next to me scrape against the floor and someone sit down in it.

I groaned and laid my head on the table; I didn't even need to know who it was, the girlish giggles across from me told me exactly who it was.

Paul was sitting next to me.

I looked up at him from the table with a confused and annoyed expression. Ever since I agreed to cook for the guys yesterday, he hadn't left me alone; he hadn't stopped smiling; he hadn't stopped looking like a little kid at Christmas. Was he incredibly dumb as well as scary and hot?

Forget I said that. I didn't say that.

He said there like it was nothing, looking straight at the board as Mr Calloway began his lesson. I continued to stare at him to see if I could make him uncomfortable.

"You know it's rude to stare," he said finally, low enough for me to hear but so that no one else could either.

"Yeah, you should know, you creep," I said, muttering the last part and hoping he hadn't heard me. I guessed by his small frown that he had. Good; why should I care if he was hurt? It was about time I repaid him for all the times he hurt me.

I didn't notice Mr Calloway had finished or that he had said we had to work in pairs. My eyes were focused on Paul's, which were suddenly very vulnerable. God, it was looking into a puppy's eyes.

"Will you ever forgive me for what I did to you?" he asked quietly. His question surprised me so much that I jerked up and stared right at him.

"Would you forgive me, if I did the same to you?"

He stared at his hands. "I wouldn't need to; you wouldn't do something as horrible as what I did."

I frowned. That was not the answer I was expecting, or wanted. It made me want to feel sorry for him, because it looked like he was really beating himself up about it. I tore my eyes away from him, looking out the window instead. I clenched my fists; I was so confused, these thoughts and feelings felt alien and they were terrifying me.

"Exactly Paul," I muttered. "I wouldn't do something as horrible as that."

I looked back at him just as the bell rang. Had the class already ended?

"I will never forgive you Paul," I whispered.

I ran out of the classroom before I had time to see his face or hear his reply. I was angry and hurt, but mostly at myself. I was supposed to hate him. I was supposed to be afraid of him. And yet, the only thing I wanted at that moment, was to be near him and to never be apart from him. I felt my lungs expand and contract, gasping for air but coming up short. I leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees.

When Jake found me, I was on the brink of hyperventilating.

"Andy? What happened? Are you ok?" he asked worriedly. He knelt down to my height on the floor and noticed the pained expression on my face. His eyes hardened.

He looked over his shoulder at the small crowd which had accumulated, looking at me and wondering why I was having a nervous breakdown. Because that was what was happening, wasn't it? I always knew that Paul would break me; I just didn't know that it would be because I was afraid of being around him, because I knew that I wouldn't ever be able to leave.

"Back off! Nothing to see here!" Jake shouted at some freshmen, who scurried off in fear. Looking back at me, Jake sighed and scooped me up in his arms. He carried me out to my car and placed me in the passenger seat. Slipping into the driver's seat, he held out his hand for the keys. Shakily, I handed them over, the metal jangling in my hands that just would not stop shaking.

I didn't notice we were at First Beach until Jake stopped and turned to me.

"Hey, Andy, it's ok. Try to relax and breathe," he said calmly. I tried to do as he said but found that there wasn't enough air in the car so I opened my door and got out, my legs taking me to the shoreline.

Jake caught up with me and stood next to me as I closed my eyes and breathed in the salty sea air. I felt my muscles relax and my breathing steadied. Letting out a deep sigh, I opened my eyes and looked to my friend. "Thanks," I muttered, feeling slightly embarrassed. Jake threw an arm around my shoulders, smiling.

"It's what friends do," he replied.

I sighed. "No, that's what you do, Jake. You were right; you're always here for me, and I wasn't for you. I wasn't being a good friend, and I'm sorry."

Jake smiled a sad smile and looked out at the flowing waves. I glanced out at the water, feeling myself calm down by looking at the blue expanse.

"Want to talk about it?" I finally said.

Jake let out a sigh. "You remember when we were kids, and every summer we'd sometimes hang out with Chief Swan's daughter?"

I scrunched up my face trying to remember my childhood. "Yeah, I think I do. Isabella, right?"

Jake smiled at the mention of her name, but it was a sad smile. I silently cursed myself for being such a bad friend.

"Yeah, Bella. She moved here about a year ago to live with her dad. She's a couple years older but she's a bit of a loner," Jake laughed. Then his face grew hard and cold. "She met this guy at Forks High School, and they seemed pretty serious about each other. It was hard, but I figured I had no say in who she could date anyway; she only saw me as a brother.

Then, this guy, he and his family moved away, and he just left her. He completely ignored her, and it tore her apart," Jake's voice broke. My heart went out to the girl who I used to spend my summers with. She was always a little awkward, and I could only imagine how being ignored by a high school sweetheart would feel. "She wasn't doing well. She was ignoring her friends at school and always seemed sad. And then one day," Jake smiled, " she asked me if I could help her with a little project; to build her a motorcycle."

"That's why you were always in your garage," I realised. I punched him in the shoulder. "Dude! Why didn't you say something? I could've been your wing man!"

Jake chuckled, and then his face turned melancholy. "We hung out for weeks, and we got pretty close. She seemed to be getting better; she was smiling and laughing again. Or so I thought; it turns out that the motorcycle was just an adrenaline thing," he muttered. "We went to the cinema one night, with this complete douche," his knuckles cracked, "who has got to be the biggest pussy I've ever met. He was trying to get with Bella, but she wasn't allowing him to. I thought that meant that she didn't want him, that she wanted me…" Jake took his arm off my shoulders, and I instantly felt cold. He wrung his hands together. "But she didn't. I tried to hold her hand, but she wouldn't let me. She was still hung up on her ex; so, I got mad, I almost picked a fight with her friend, and the fever set in."

I was silent for a few moments, giving my friend some space. "Did Sam tell you to ignore her, like he told you to ignore me?"

Jake nodded, his jaw locked. I sighed; this whole thing was complete bullshit. I said that to Jake who just smiled, but it didn't meet his eyes.

"Jake," I finally whispered. He looked at me, waiting for my question. Something about the whole 'ignoring friends and family' was bothering me; actually that was a lie. Something had been bothering me for a couple of days.

"Where's Emily?" I whispered, afraid that, if I spoke any louder, Sam would hear. I still didn't know the whole mechanics of being a werewolf, so I was quiet just in case. But also, I think I was afraid because I didn't want to know the answer. I already had a feeling I knew it.

As I thought, Jake looked away from me, not meeting his eyes. His Adam's Apple bobbed as he gulped; he fidgeted slightly, and I knew from years of experience that what he was about to say wasn't going to be good.

"Andy…"

"No, Jake, no more lying." I grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me. "Where is she? I've never seen her this far from Sam since they got together. She is always with him, always. So, I'll ask again; where is she?"

Jacob seemed to shrink before my eyes. He was afraid of telling me, afraid of my reaction.

"Please Jacob," I whispered.

"Emily… she's… in the hospital," he said lowly, his whole body tensed like a metal wire, ready for my reaction at any moment.

I balked; in the hospital? I ran the last few weeks through my mind; I had seen her at the council meeting that night, hadn't I? I was sure I had, and she had seemed fine. Then I remembered Sam's dark and painful look when I mentioned her the other day. I looked at Jacob, fear in my eyes.

"It was him, wasn't it?" I asked carefully. "It was Sam; he's the reason she's in the hospital."

It took a few seconds for Jake to nod his head. The motions were laboured, like he was a machine that needed to be oiled. I gulped and took in a deep breath to calm my sudden nerves.

"They got in a fight, something small and stupid, and he got angry and he phased right in front of her. Scratched her in the face."

I laid my hands out on my legs, running them on my jeans to calm me down. Sam, the one who broke Leah's heart because he fell in love with her cousin, hurt someone? Sure, his size and physique made him intimidating, but I could never believe that he would hurt someone.

"I've got to go," I said suddenly. Jake looked at me anxiously; he was probably thinking that I was afraid of him, that I thought he would hurt me the way Sam hurt Emily. I gave him a small smile. "I just need some alone time, Jake. It's been a rough few days," I said. He returned my smile, nodding. Yeah, finding out your best friend turned into a furry creature was definitely cause for wanting some time to think.

We walked back to my car, and soon I was dropping him off outside his house. As I was driving home, something drifted across my mind. I was reminded of something that had happened when I asked where Emily was; not Sam's face, or the looks the others shared. Something someone had said, in an alluring voice.

Paul.

Hearing his voice, the words he said, I flared in anger; not just at the reaction my body had to thinking about his voice again (I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy), but because of the words.

He had said she was out of town. He had lied to me.

I realised I was dawdling outside my house, but I didn't care. I suddenly had an urge to go hiking. I knew I would find the answers I was looking for, or most likely, they would find me. I glared at nothing, thinking of Paul. He thought he could just lie about something as important as this? Well, he had another thing coming to him.

I stumbled through the wood line, my anger fuelling me. The sound of the leaves crunching under my stomping feet was echoing in my ears. My fists were balled, swinging at my sides. I'm pretty sure I looked ridiculous but I didn't care; I needed to find Paul.

I stopped in the middle of a clearing. I had no idea how far out I had walked, but it must've been far because I had never seen this clearing before.

"Paul?" I asked the air. I had no way of knowing if he had heard me with his super-sonic wolf hearing, or if I was just being stupid. After a few moments of silence, I gave up sighing. My anger ebbed slightly and I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated with myself. I didn't like how Paul was causing me to act; it was different, and it confused me. Or perhaps, after three years of trying to not be noticed, I had pushed away my real personality too. I shook my head. Now was not the time for philosophical questions.

I turned around to leave, and realised that I had no idea how I got to the clearing. There were many paths leading out of it, and I had no idea which one I needed. I chuckled to myself; this was just my luck.

"Andy?"

I whipped round to find Paul standing a few feet away from me, looking nervous. He was once again without a shirt, dressed in three-quarter length shorts. My eyes were instantly drawn to his muscled chest and I mentally slapped myself. No, bad Andy. I tore my eyes away and looked at his face, glaring at the small smirk on his face. Too bad that smirk's going to be wiped off, I thought. My anger came rushing back to me in full force. I noticed Paul's face fall and filed it away to look at later.

"What the hell Paul?" I asked. He looked at me confused. Walking timidly forwards slightly, Paul held up his hands in surrender.

"What's up Andy? Why are you out here all alone? It's not safe for you to be out on your own," he said.

I scoffed. "Yeah, like it's safe for me to be around you."

He squinted at me, looking for something. He drew his lips into a thin line. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't shit with me Paul. I know you lied about Emily being out of town; I know she's in the hospital."

Paul's face paled. I grinned maliciously; it was like the tables had finally turned.

Or so I thought. His face hardened and something appeared in his eyes I hadn't seen for weeks; anger.

"So? So what if I lied? You don't have the right to know everything Andy. I was just trying to protect you!"

"I think I do have a right to know, seeing as how this involves my friends! And who asked you to protect me? I can take care of myself – I have to since all my friends disappeared on me and since you took it upon yourself to ruin my life!"

Paul gritted his teeth. "You think I want to protect you? You think I want to have these feelings? I never wanted this! Yeah, I didn't like you. You, and your stupid hair, and your stupid face, you were so different from all the other girls… I hated it! I hated how you made me feel so I wanted to wipe that stupid smile off your face! And I hate even more how I hated doing it, and how I hated myself after, and still do!"

"And you know what Andy?" he said lowly. I had frozen in my spot, not daring to move. He was like a coiled viper, ready to spring at the first sign of movement. A dark chuckle escaped his lips.

"I hate how I have no choice in loving you. I hate how it had to be you – how it was always you – and yeah, maybe I deserve everything I get. But I won't apologise for wanting to protect you."

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, unsure of what to say. He had completely destroyed my resolve at taking him down a peg; my words froze on the tip of my tongue. I felt my eyes itch and tear up, and suddenly, I was mad. He was angry at me, for being me? That's why he picked on me?

I felt my face slacken, but my eyes didn't lose their hatred.

"I hate you Paul Lahote," I whispered, my voice carrying on the light breeze. My words hit him like a sledgehammer, but he didn't show any distress on the outside. I looked at him warily, suddenly very tired.

"My, am I interrupting something?"

The voice was beautiful, like a thousand crystal glasses playing a melodious harmony. It called to me. I turned around and gasped. A red-headed woman stood in the shadows, her pale face as beautiful as the ones in paintings or sculptures you saw in art galleries. Her eyes – _her eyes_ – they glowed crimson. My curiosity peaked and I took a tentative step forward.

A growl behind me took me out of my reverie.

"Andy, step away from her," Paul barked.

"Now, now," the woman said, "there's no need to take that tone."

Paul growled at her, baring his teeth. He was shaking violently now, but something was keeping him from shifting. His eyes glanced at me for a second.

I felt a sudden breeze lift my hair and then looked to see the woman right in front of me. She closed her eyes and inhaled, a breathy moan escaping her.

"So beautiful, so tantalising, so… _delicious,_" the woman moaned. She opened her eyes, the crimson irises even brighter in the light. The next thing I knew, the peaceful expression on her face was gone and was replaced by a murderous smile, exposing her pointed fangs.

I was hit by something heavy and flung to the side like a rag doll. Landing on the earth, I felt a sharp pain shoot through the arm I landed on and through my chest. I groaned and let out a strangled cry; god, it hurt to breathe, it felt like someone was stabbing me repeatedly in the chest.

A howl echoed through the woods, then another, and another. Growls filled my ears and fur entered my peripheral vision. More of the wolves had joined Paul in fighting the red-headed woman. A tinkling giggle and a barrage of paws on the earth, and they were gone. The clearing was quiet except for my groans of pain.

It only took a few minutes for the pack to come back. Paul and Jake were the first to reach me, both pairs of eyes filled with worry.

Paul knelt beside my head, his hands hovering over my curled body. His knees were shaking by my head and I knew he was having a hard time keeping his anger in control.

"Andy? Andy can you hear me?" Sam asked.

I let out a pained moan, indicating that yes, I could hear him.

"Where does it hurt Andy?" Jake asked.

"M-my arm and my chest," I let out through gritted teeth.

"Shit," Paul said, running a hand through his hair. It took a great deal of self-control from me not to let out a sob, but I managed to place a hand on his knee. He stopped shaking the moment I touched him.

I don't know what caused me to do it; it just felt right.


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! Thanks for being so patient! I have two more weeks of exams (next week being the worst) so I'll try and update next weekend. In reply to _Guest_'s review, I'll also try to update YDSM then too. I hope you guys like this chapter - it's suuuuuuper long, and some big stuff happens. I hope Paul doesn't come off too OOC here. We also get our first glimpse of Bella - she and Andy are gonna have some problems for a while, but it won't always be like that. Please review!**

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Insanity

CH 11

I remembered the wind blowing through the trees, the sun shining through the branches. I remembered a twinkling sound, like wind chimes; a high-pitched laugh. I remembered razor-sharp teeth and shocking, crimson eyes. I remembered fur, and warmth, and amber eyes. I remembered the heat, the soft skin, and the comfort I felt when I touched it.

The images flashed behind the lids of my eyes like a tape of film at a movie theatre. The darkness that I had been sleeping in comfortably was ripped away like someone pulling back a curtain, and suddenly all I could feel was pain.

White-hot, pure, undiluted pain.

First it racked my entire body; my muscles, my bones, my nerves, everything. Then it dulled, remaining strong in my left arm and my chest. My throat was like a desert and my lips the cracked earth. I vaguely wondered if I was dead, but realised that I wouldn't feel this much pain if I was dead.

A warmth covered my hand, something strong yet soft massaging my fingers, and suddenly the pain dulled until I could barely feel it. Finally able to open my eyes, I gazed around me until my eyes landed on the one holding my hand. Paul gave me a weak smile and looked back down at my hand.

"Man, you've really got to stop fainting on us, Andy," came a voice. Gathering my bearings and looking around, I noticed the other members of the pack standing around me, trying not to look worried. Sam stood stoically, like usual, by the door; I was

in a hospital room.

"Sorry 'bout that," I slurred. Jared and Quil shot me a grin, whilst the rest looked on with straight faces. Even Embry didn't crack a smile.

"Who died?" I asked. I felt Paul tense next to me and he dropped my hand, his knuckled white against his tan skin. Jacob let out a sigh, and suddenly everything came back to me; the reason I was in the hospital.

"Oh…" I whispered.

Jacob looked at me quizzically. "Oh? OH? That's all you can say, Andy? What the hell were you doing out in the woods alone? Do you think it's funny, huh, risking your life again and again and making the rest of us worry sick? Did you really think," Jake seethed, "that after all this time, we still didn't care for you? Our friend? Really, Andy?!"

"Enough," Paul muttered. He was visibly shaking, reminding me of a cartoon character. Out of instinct, I grabbed a hold of his shorts, which were the only thing I could reach from my position on the couch, and tugged lightly. His eyes dropped down to me and he stopped, letting out a breath.

I tried to sit up and felt pain shoot through my chest. Clutching at my t-shirt, I took a few minutes to find out the extent of my injuries. There was a tight bandage around my middle, as well as a few needles in my arms and a cast around my left arm. I groaned; my record of never having broken a bone in my sixteen years of living was now broken. I saw Jake hide a smile out of the corner of my eye – he knew what I was thinking.

Paul moved to help me sit up but I waved him away; I may have been injured but I wasn't a cripple. I also knew that, even though he saved me, and it was my fault that I needed to be saved, but he was the reckless one and threw me like I was a little doll. So yeah, I wasn't exactly grateful for his chivalry act.

"Oh great, she's up."

I looked towards the door and blanched. Emily was standing tensely next to Sam, a hand on his arm. But their sudden closeness (more from Emily's part than Sam's) wasn't what shocked me. Three jagged scars ran down the side of her face, pulling at the edge of her lips and the corner of her eye. Suddenly the pain I felt, felt like nothing. The throbbing in my arm was like pinpricks, and I took back the anger I felt at Paul for saving me; because nothing, nothing, would ever compare to the pain I saw in Sam's eyes when I stared at Emily.

I cleared my throat and smiled at Emily, hoping that the eternity I had spent staring at her didn't make her or anyone else uncomfortable.

"Hey Emily, long time no see," I said. She chuckled and came to sit on the edge of my bed. I might hate her for taking Sam away from Leah, but there was something about her I couldn't help but love. She radiated kindness, and was like a mother figure. Looking between her and Sam, I knew that they were meant to be together, whether she knew it or not. She grabbed my non-injured hand and squeezed it comfortingly.

"So, how is it like to be on the inside of the secret now?" she joked. We laughed together and the cold tension in the room warmed, Sam and Paul unfreezing from their statuesque poses. I grinned at her. "It's not bad; some days I wish I hadn't been so nosey, but others I'm sort of glad I am."

"Some of us still wish you weren't so nosey," Quil joked. I glared jokingly at him, to which he just ruffled my hair. It was like everything was normal again; I had all my friends back, there were no secrets. Everything was going to be fine.

Oh shit, don't tell me I jinxed it again.

I was discharged the next morning. Paul was the only one there to take me home, so I begrudgingly sat in his truck as he drove from the hospital back to my house.

"I have a question," I finally said. Paul glanced at me from the corner of his eye.

"Oh yeah? I was wondering when you'd open your mouth and start asking questions," he said, sending me a grin.

I scoffed. Whatever. "So, what's it like being a werewolf? What kind of superpowers do you guys have? It it weird being a dog?"

Paul let out a bark of laughter, throwing his head back. "Of course you would ask me those types of questions. Ok, one, it's great being a werewolf. You get to protect the people and keep them safe, the speed is amazing, and the bond I have with the guys is great. On the other hand, there's this thing called pack mentality. When we're in our wolf forms, we can hear each other's thoughts, and I mean every single thought. We see everything that everyone thinks, and that's real annoying when you've got Quil on your team who won't shut up, Jacob with his inner monologue about Bella, Jared thinking about his new girlfriend, Sam about Emily… it's not that great. Our superpowers? Hmm, well, there's superstrength, superspeed, we run really high temperatures, we hear a lot, can see for miles, that sort of stuff. And we're not dogs; we're wolves."

"You're oversized dogs," I countered. Paul huffed; he knew I was correct, and he couldn't say anything otherwise.

I opened my mouth a few times, wondering how to put my next question. Paul noticed my fish-imitation and chuckled. "What, cat got your tongue? What else do you want to ask?"

I looked out the window. "Just something Jake told me once."

After a while I finally asked, "What's an imprint?"

I heard Paul choke and when I turned to see if he was ok, his eyes were bulging and he was gripping the steering wheel like it was his lifeline. We had stopped outside my house but I didn't care; I wanted to know. Jake had implied that Paul was my 'imprint', but no one had ever mentioned that when I found out and it said nothing about imprints on the website or in the legends. I knew it was something, Paul's reaction said so, but I wanted to find out more.

"What did Jake tell you?" Paul muttered.

"It was before I found out, when we were arguing," I said, furrowing my brow. "He mentioned something about the bloodsucker, who I now know is a vampire, being Bella's boyfriend, and that I hadn't noticed how it affected him because I was 'busy with my imprint'. So I want to know – what is an imprint, and what does it have to do with you?"

Paul ran his hands through his hair, causing his biceps to stretch the thin t-shirt he was wearing. I could count the number of abs he had through the shirt, and a tingle tan through my hands, urging me to reach out and touch-

No, bad Andy!

Paul let out a sigh and looked out the windshield, looking like he had just ran a marathon and came last. He looked tired, and sad, and like he had given up.

"I can't tell you," he muttered.

"Why the hell not?" I asked, turning my body so that I was facing him. Looking closely at his face, it seemed like Paul was in some kind of internal conflict. Something snapped in me, that's my excuse for it. I unclipped my seatbelt so that I could get closer to him; I laid a hand on his arm, feeling the heat he had told me about radiate from his skin; the warmth that drew me to him, that made me want more. I told myself that this was the only way to get my answers. I ran my hand up his arm, across his shoulder and to the base of his neck. Paul's eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of my touch, and I bit my lip to stop myself letting out a sigh. I could feel his muscles tensing and relaxing under my touch; it was like he was melting under me, and the sudden control I had over him made me feel confident.

"You can tell me," I whispered. I had no idea why I was whispering, but something told me that it would work.

Paul turned his head but didn't look at me. "No, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because," he said, finally looking up at me. I lost myself in his eyes once again and felt my resolve crumble slightly; suddenly I didn't want to be touching him to get answers from him, I didn't want to lie to him. "If I tell you, you'll hate me for real, and I can't stand to have you away from me, let alone hating me."

I balked at his answer – I hadn't been expecting that. This new Paul, this Paul, he was unpredictable. The old Paul, Paul the bully, I knew him. I knew what he liked and disliked. I knew his ways and I could work with that. But this Paul… I knew nothing. I was clueless. And I was afraid of what might happen with this Paul.

"I- Please, Paul. Please tell me and I promise, I won't jump to conclusions or anything. Please."

Paul let out a sigh; he knew he had lost. But I didn't know if I liked winning. He grabbed the hand that was on his shoulder and took it in his own, caressing the small scratches that had yet to heal.

"In the legends, an imprint is the wolf's soul mate. The one who they'll be with forever. It's kind of like love at first sight; it'll happen after you've first shifted. You see them, and suddenly everything that's keeping you here, keeping you alive, they don't matter anymore. Your imprint is your everything, and you'll be anything for them; a friend, a sibling, a lover, anything. It's supposed to be rare, but it's already happened three times now." Paul let out a sigh and smiled weakly, like a weight was gone from his shoulders.

I was still confused. "But what does that have to do with you and me?"

Paul looked at me with a pained expression, and everything clicked in my head. The amber eyes I saw that day when Paul found me, the way he changed after that day, the overwhelming feeling to be near him and the urges I had around him…

"No…" I whispered, feeling my eyes tear up.

Paul started to panic. "No, no Andy, please. You said you wouldn't jump to conclusions. Please, Andy let me explain."

"No, Paul!" I shouted. I was starting to freak out. He loved me? Seriously? We were soul mates all because the wolf told him so? He, _I,_ had no choice in who we could love? What was this, a supernatural version of an arranged marriage?

I tore my hand out of his and fumbled at the door lock.

"Let me out of the goddamn car, Paul Lahote!"

I couldn't look at him; I knew that if I looked at him, I wouldn't be able to stop myself. Whether I would slap him, cry, or kiss him, I didn't have a clue. I didn't want to know, so the moment I heard the locks I jumped out of the car and ran as fast as my bruised ribs would allow me to.

That night, I heard an agonising howl from the woods, and I knew that it was Paul.

My mum, of course, went overboard the next morning. Apparently the cover story was that I had been walking in the woods and tripped, rolling down a hill and breaking my arm and bruising my ribs. It was complete bull, but I went along with it. It meant that she was super nice to be, and I needed that right now. I also really needed help with almost everything. I had never known how useful my left arm was.

Jake came over in the morning, and the moment I saw him I knew that he knew. Not just because I remembered what _he _had said about the 'pack mentality', but because he was looking at me like he pitied me. We were sitting in my bedroom, him on the bed and me looking out the window, when he finally brought it up.

"I'm sorry I ever mentioned it, Andy," Jake said. I shook my head, keeping my eyes on the tree line. I thought I had seen those amber eyes earlier, but I had been seeing things.

"No, you were right to mention it Jake. Otherwise I would have never known that I belonged to _him_."

Jake sighed. "It doesn't work that way, Andy-"

"But it does, doesn't it?" I spun round. Jake tried to say something but my facial expression must've stopped him. I was angry, I was furious. I was sad. I thought he had seen the error of his ways and stopped bullying me because he wanted to, not because he had to.

"Whatever," I sighed.

After a moment's silence, Jake asked me if I wanted to go to Sam's. I didn't answer for a moment.

"He won't be there, he's on patrol. Actually, I need to go start on my shift, but you'll be safer at Sam's. The redhead keeps coming back and now that she's tried to get at you, it's probably better if you're protected."

I nodded, not saying anything. I let Jake drive me to Emily's in his newly refurbished Rabbit and watched him run off into the woods once we arrived.

"Rough day?" I heard a voice behind me. Emily was standing on the porch, her arms crossed over her chest mimicking Sam. I looked at her quizzically, to which she laughed. She motioned me to come in to Sam's house. Following her into the kitchen, I sat down opposite her at the small table.

"More like rough life," I groaned, leaning my head back and closing my eyes. The pain medication I was taking made me feel slightly sleepy, which wasn't helping since I had gotten zero sleep last night from Paul's incessant howling.

_Paul._

"Sam told me what happened," Emily said. The mix of the 'sleepy' pills and no sleep also made me quite agitated and easily frustrated. "Yeah, course he did, damn pack mentality."

"He's just looking out for you, Andy."

"Really? How is taking away all my friends and then my choice in who I spend the rest of my life with 'looking out for me'?"

Emily sighed. "It's not his fault, Andy. Sam had to go through everything as well, and he had to do it alone. It's not a bad thing for him to look out for the guys when he had no one."

"Why are you defending him?" I argued. "He broke your cousin's heart because he wanted you instead of her, and then stalked you everywhere, and then he hurt you!"

My eyes widened and I shut my mouth. I had crossed a line, I knew it. Sam would kill me and rip me into shreds and eat me and whatever wolves did to their prey.

Emily smiled kindly whilst I looked at her sheepishly. "Sorry, that was uncalled for."

"No, you're right. For a while, I was angry at Sam. Especially after the… episode. But," Emily smiled, "I couldn't hate him. After all this time, I had gotten used to having him around, and I think I grew close to him. And, after the accident, he came to me everyday in the hospital, and everyday he told me that if I wanted, I could tell him to kill himself, and he would do it. He would do anything for me."

"You love him," I realised. Emily nodded, tears pooling in her eyes. She wiped at her eyes and something shiny distracted me.

A ring.

"He proposed?!" I exclaimed, grabbing her hand with my uninjured one and looking closely at the ring. Emily smiled tearfully, nodding her head. She really looked happy then, saying she was going to marry Sam.

"You need to talk to him," Emily said. I dropped her hand and looked down at my lap, fiddling with my sling.

I knew I had to talk to him; maybe I did overreact yesterday. But I had every right to freak out!

"Paul told me that there have been three cases of imprints already. I'm guessing you and Sam are one, right?"

Emily nodded. "And Jared and Kim, a girl in his class. Sam imprinted on me after he shifted, when I first came here. None of it was his fault; breaking Leah's heart, loving me, none of it. I know that it doesn't seem right for them to have no say in what they feel, but I think on some level they do."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, I think the imprint just helps the wolf to realise their true love. Sam told me that he thinks imprinting is to help the wolf find a mate to produce stronger offspring, but I don't think that's true. I think imprinting helps the wolf to find something to tie them to the tribe, more than their family. An imprint gives them something to protect; a higher purpose. But also I think imprinting is to help the wolf keep in touch with their human side."

I nodded, thinking about what Emily had said. I couldn't really blame Paul, could I? He had as much say in this as I did.

"But what if the imprint doesn't want to be, intimate, with the wolf? Can they ignore the imprint?" I asked nervously. "I don't know," Emily shrugged. "I tried to, but after a while, I would feel ill when Sam wasn't around, and I would only feel better when he was near me. I think, you could if you tried, but you wouldn't really be living. You'd feel empty without them, on some level."

Emily was silent for a moment. "Do you love him?"

I laid my head on the tabletop. "I don't know. Sometimes, maybe, but then I remember all the things he did to me. What he would have continued to do if it weren't for him becoming a werewolf. Sometimes I think it's all a joke and he's going to humiliate me and I'm going to hate myself for letting him get to me," I admitted. It was true; some days I felt like I could be with Paul, but I would never forget the way he seemed to enjoy humiliating and tormenting me. I didn't think I could live that lie.

"Then tell him that," Emily urged, grabbing my hand. "Just be honest with him – maybe that'll be your first step to trusting him."

"Maybe," I muttered.

Suddenly two yelps were heard from outside. I raised my head and gulped; what if it was Paul? Was I ready to see him again?

Embry and Jared traipsed in, once again dressed only in shorts, and immediately flopped down next to me and dug into the food Emily was serving them.

"Who's this?" Emily asked, and I turned around. I saw a girl with long, auburn hair and pale skin, and I knew who it was; only one non-Quileute would hang around here, and with the wolves. Bella stood awkwardly by the door.

"Bella Swan, who else?" Jared asked.

"Hmm, so, you're the vampire girl," Emily said. I chuckled along with the boys as Bella shakily replied, "So you're, the wolf girl."

"I am, or, I'm engaged to one," Emily said.

Bella looked to me, finally noticing my presence. She looked at me confused. "You too, Andy?"

I smiled weakly. "Yup, guilty as charged. Guess Jake finally told you, or let me guess, did he let something slip to you as well?"

"That guy needs to keep his trap shut," Jared said, though it came out all muffly because of all the food in his mouth.

"What are you doing here?" Bella asked me. She eyed my sling and the stiff way I sat. "Shouldn't you be in the hospital or something?"

"I'm-" I started. Jared interrupted me with his booming laughter. "Yeah right. She couldn't stay away from Paul, could she? The big, bad wolf turned softie really turns her on," he joked. I slapped him with my good hand across the back of his head, feeling my cheeks heat up. Embry chuckled along with Jared and I sent him the death stare to shut him up.

"Wait, you're dating Paul? The psychopath who has anger issues?"

I narrowed my eyes. I could feel myself getting defensive over Paul, but this time I wouldn't question it. How dare she say that about Paul?

"How can you say that? You don't know him, you've barely been down to La Push to see anyone but Jake, _Bella._"

I pushed back my chair and stood up, hiding the groans of pain from my protesting ribs. All movement had stopped in the kitchen and all eyes were on us.

"What's going on here?"

Sam stood in the doorway, watching our standoff. I sat back down in my seat, watching Bella.

"Nothing. Just two old friends catching up," I said. Bella, being the awkward person she is, just stood there, seemingly afraid of Sam.

Jake and Paul came in next. I kept my eyes away from Paul, feeling my body flush under his gaze and instead watched Jake and Bella's tense exchange. Following them as they left, I looked around at the others.

"Anyone going to tell me what happened?"


	12. Chapter 12

**I am soooo sorry for taking longer than I said I would with this chapter! I had a few family crises, on top of finally finishing my exams! So no school for me till September! Hopefully that means I'll be updating this a bit more regularly. This is were things start to get crazy ;]**

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Insanity

CH 12

The guys were playing a very rowdy game of football outside whilst Emily and I cleared up their mess in the kitchen. Glancing up from washing the dishes, I noticed Emily looking at something outside. Following her intense gaze, I noticed a lone figure sitting in the trees.

Paul.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I knew that I would have to deal with him sooner or later, but honestly I would rather it be later. I was still angry at him for lying to me, for keeping the imprint bond a secret, for having as much say in this as I did, for making me empathise with him, and I was angry at myself for defending him to Bella. Where had that come from? Hearing her bad-mouth Paul had started a raging fire in me, one that both confused and satisfied me.

I wanted to defend Paul. I felt guilty for blowing up at him, and because he couldn't help being himself.

"You need to talk to him sooner or later Andy," Emily said, bringing me back to reality. I had been staring at Paul whilst I had been daydreaming and I felt myself frowning.

"I know. But I don't know what to say," I said, my voice cracking. I looked down at my hands and played with the chipped nail varnish.

"Just tell him the truth."

It was like someone else had taken over my body and made me walk out there, past the guys playing football and towards the trees. Paul was hiding behind a large oak tree, sitting on the ground with his head in his hands. I could tell that he knew I was there from the way his muscles tensed, but he showed no other signs of recognition.

"Hey," I said softly. Still no movement. Wiping my sweating palm on my jeans, I walked closer and sat down next to him. My ribs were aching and my cast was digging into my shoulder, but I didn't notice them; I only noticed the way my heart beat faster from our close proximity, and the way Paul's fists clenched above his head.

"Emily explained some more things about the, imprint, thing, and I realised that I shouldn't have blown up at you like that. I promised not to jump to conclusions, and I broke that promise," I said shakily, watching him from the corner of my eye.

Still nothing.

"Look, I- You need to realise how, _weird_, everything is to me. Between finding out that my best friend and almost everyone else I know turns into a wolf, and that some higher being says that I'm promised to someone else, and the fact that you went from bully to protector in a matter of hours, and these weird feelings I have for you, I'm so confused I feel like my head is about to combust."

I saw him twitch slightly and knew that if I didn't get out all my thoughts now, I never would.

"I'm just so, so scared, Paul. I'm scared of knowing what I know; I'm scared of losing my friends; I'm scared of what I feel for you because I'm supposed to hate you but I don't, and I'm scared that these feelings will mean. And I'm scared of losing myself, because the person I knew wasn't outgoing, didn't backchat and certainly never liked you.

And I'm scared," I felt a tear roll down my cheek," I'm scared that if I let you in, that you'll find out that the real me isn't worth it, and that you'll leave me. Because I can't deal with losing any more people in my life, Paul, I just can't."

More tears poured down my cheeks, and suddenly I felt myself engulfed in the delicious heat that I had unknowingly been craving. Paul cradled me close, mindful of my arm, and ran his hands up and down my back. Laying my head beside his neck, I felt the tears slow down and stop as I grew more calm and relaxed in his embrace. A hot thumb swept across my cheek and wiped away the remnants of the tears. Placing a light kiss on my head, Paul whispered in my ear, "You won't lose me. I promise Andy, I'll always be beside you, in whatever way you want me to be."

"Even if it means just as friends?" I asked in a small voice. I felt Paul's muscles work as he gulped.

"Yes, even as friends."

A comfortable silence fell on us for a little while.

"But you'll warm up to me before long."

I scoffed, and felt myself smile for what felt like the first time in weeks. Ah, there was the cocky son of a bitch I knew.

At the sound of a twig breaking I looked up; my eyes widened upon seeing Leah. I hadn't seen her since the bonfire – when I had been angry at Paul.

Shit.

She was staring at us, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Suddenly her hands balled at her sides and her face morphed into an expression of anger; I knew she had noticed the way Paul's arm lingered on my shoulders, and the way I was leaning into him. Shaking visibly, Leah bared her teeth, almost…

Wolf-like.

"Run, Andy!" Paul shouted, pushing me away as gently as he could. Scrambling to my feet, my breath came out in anxious bursts; would Paul hurt Leah? What was happening? Would Paul be okay?

The sound of material ripping and a feral roar stopped me in my tracks, and I felt a tear pour down my cheek. Oh god Leah. There were no other female wolves in the pack, and their existence hadn't been pointed out in the legends. And Sam was her pack leader…

Sam, Jared, Embry and Quil had stopped their game and ran over to me. Grabbing my shoulders, Sam looked into my eyes, noticing their glazed look as I continued to freak out in my mind over my friend's future and Paul's safety.

"Andy? Andy what's going on?"

All I could get out was, "Leah."

Sam took off running towards the sound of the fight. Quil placed an arm around me in comfort, and Jared smiled awkwardly.

"And just when things were starting to calm down, the shit starts to really hit the fan."

I nodded mutely. Shit was hitting the fan alright, and hitting everyone in sight.

"So… did you make up with Paul?"

"More importantly did you make out with Paul?"

"Aww so cute"

"Kissy kissy"

I grabbed both Jared and Quil by the ears, rendering them completely useless and making them scream like little kids.

"Jesus it's the female Paul," Quil said wincing. Scoffing, I shoved them forwards – their stupid wolf senses stopped them from falling to the ground like I'd wanted. I looked at them sternly, though the one arm crossed over my chest didn't have the same effect as both would have.

"I'm not the female Paul – I'm worse," I said. Jared mumbled something under his breath, too quiet for me to catch it. Raising an eyebrow, I grinned as he flinched, rubbing his ear.

"I think I'm gonna head home," I said, waving at the guys. Embry was laughing at the other two, mocking them for their 'wussiness'. I chuckled, wondering how the safety of La Push depended on a bunch of teenage boys.

Opening the door to my house, I could sense something wasn't right. The house was strangely silent; my mum was no where in sight, and Brady wasn't raiding the kitchen like usual. I made my way silently up the stairs, afraid of making a sound and disturbing the silence.

I passed by my mother's room and noticed nothing unusual. Same with the utility closet, bathroom and my room. Coming to a stop outside my brother's room, I heard a faint noise that sounded like coughing, and slowly opened the door.

A lump of blankets was covering my brother's bed, making me wonder if he was under it, or an intruder was hiding under it. Or he was just extremely lazy and hid all his clothes under it. Creeping towards the bed, I reached out and whipped the covers off.

Brady was curled up under the blankets, coughing and looking, well, sick. Letting out a sigh of relief, I tucked the covers back over him, the jostling of the materials waking him up.

"Oh, hey Andy," he slurred. I placed a hand on his forehead.

"Jesus Christ Brady, you're boiling!" I was starting to freak out. Looking closely, Brady looked really sick; his face was pale and sickly, he was seriously racking up a temperature, and his eyes were bloodshot. For a second I thought it was just the flu, and then I remembered how, before all the guys shifted, they had all claimed an illness of sorts, mono being the usual excuse.

My hands started shaking and I could feel my breath coming out in short, shallow breaths. Brady… my brother… a werewolf? The little kid who used to eat play dough and swim in mud, was turning into a werewolf?

"It's ok Brady, I'm going to get help," I said anxiously. He muttered something but his words were too slurred to make them out. How long did he have left? How long until he shifted?

I walked out of his room and took out my phone. Scrolling down my list of contacts, I realised that the first person I thought of talking to was Paul, and I didn't have a way of contacting him. So I chose the next person. Unfortunately, Jacob wasn't picking up his phone, so instead I went straight to the soure.

"Hello?" Emily answered. I took a shaky breath and swallowed.

"Emily, you need to tell Sam to get to my house now; I think Brady is shifting."

Sam and JJared arrived in minutes. They ran into the house and up the stairs to Brady's room.

"Hey, Andy."

I whipped around at the sound of his voice, hurtling myself into Paul's arms. Stumbling back a few steps, Paul hugged me back tightly, his head dipping into the space between my shoulder and neck. We stood like that for a few seconds, just feeling each other, until we broke apart. My hands were running up and down his arms, searching for any signs of injury.

"What are you doing?" Paul asked.

"Checking to see if you're alright."

Paul raised an eyebrow. "Are you serious? You think Leah could hurt me? Please. I'm still the strongest wolf in the pack; nothing could take me down."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I said, waving him off.

I looked down at the floor, my good arm clutching onto my sling. I suddenly felt cold, like someone had dunked me in a pool of ice. I remembered that Paul was here on pack duty, not to see me, and the image of my brother sick upstairs brought me back to reality.

"Hey," Paul said softly, lifting my chin up so that our eyes met. His thumb caressed my cheek, the warm tingles comforting me.

"It'll be okay. He's going to be fine in a couple hours or so."

"It's not that I'm worried about," I whispered.

Paul sighed and wrapped his other arm around my waist, drawing me closer to him. My good arm clutched at the thin t-shirt he was wearing, using it as a makeshift lifeline so that I stayed calm.

What was I going to do now that I not only had to deal with Paul and having these strange feelings concerning him, worrying about my friends, but now I had to worry about my brother and my closest thing to a female friend as well? Not to mention, what would we do about mum?

"I promise you that I won't let anything bad happen to him," Paul said, resting his chin on the top of my head. I nodded, closing my eyes and allowing myself a few seconds to just breathe and calm down.

We stayed like that, embraced together, until I heard the agonising wails from outside and felt Paul grip me tighter.

Everything had changed now.


	13. Chapter 13

**remember when i said that i'd update more frequently as it was summer? yeah, i have no words. there was a family crisis which meant that i had literally no time to sit and write, but don't worry i have all the chapters planned out! this is a bit more of a short filler, but it will allow for more subplots :] cookies to anyone who can guess what that means! (hint: it's in this chapter) Also, THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR AMAZING REVIEWS! Shoutouts to RandomGuest (you're too kind!) and Tyla (Thanks for the tip! Am going to try and refrain from using those words so much) and pretty much anyone who reviewed! Oh and we only have one more chapter in New Moon, but then BIG THINGS START HAPPENING. So yeah. Review guys!**

***ALSO* I have made changes to chapter 12 that coincide with this chapter, so please read it so nothing is (too) confusing**

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Insanity

CH 13

Waking up the next morning was like waking up before anything had ever happened; before I knew about werewolves and vampires, before Paul's sudden change in character, before my confused feelings for said werewolf, and before I had lost everyone closest to me.

Okay, maybe I was exaggerating. But that was what it felt like; excluding my mum, who I wasn't so close to, Emily, Bella and Billy, everyone else I knew was a werewolf. And yeah, it was probably worse for them. But the constant fear of them being injured, or worse killed, whilst protecting us, had kept me in cold sweats through the whole night. Also the fact that, say or do the wrong thing or be in the wrong place at the wrong time, the rest of us could also end up injured, or worse. It was like being surrounded by ticking time bombs, only you never knew when or what would set them off.

Feeling slightly isolated, I subconsciously reverted to my old ways and woke up hours before the rest of my family were awake, dressing silently in plain, dark clothes, and snuck out through my window and climbed down the excellently placed tree in the backyard. The wet foliage crunched and squelched under my feet; it was nearing the end of March, nearing spring, but the rain still kept on coming. I trekked through the trees until I got to the road, and followed it towards First Beach; again, another thing that came naturally to me.

When I was younger, my dad used to take me to the beach; the blue water and the way the salt dyed the trees just intrigued me, and like every little child I begged and begged to go to the beach. My dad, with his light hair and light skin, would laugh and pull me up onto his shoulders and we'd walk to the beach and spend the day there, laughing and playing. But the beach was empty, and there was only silence.

I couldn't tell you how long I'd been standing there, simply staring at the water ripple gently on the shore, only that the sun had risen slightly higher underneath the clouds and the colour of the water lightened. I was alone for what felt like eternity, and closing my eyes and breathing in the fresh, salty air, I honestly didn't mind.

My eyes were still closed when I felt a body come and stand by me. The heat radiating off the person gave me an indication as to who it might be, but my guess that Paul had tracked me here was wrong; opening my eyes, I saw that Jake stood stoically by my side, his brow furrowed and his jaw locked. Like most of the werewolves, he was shirtless, and the sweat sticking to his body told me that he had been running for a while; but the way his shoulders were set and his hands were balled stiffly at his sides told me that he had been venting some anger.

"Want to talk about it?" I muttered, not daring to break the sweet silence. Neither did he, it seemed, for he merely shook his head slightly and continued staring off into space.

Feeling the cramps in my legs from standing for however long I had, I sank down to the sand. Jacob though, still stood. Placing a hand on his shin, I gazed up at him and motioned with my eyes for him to sit, which he did reluctantly.

"You know, talking about it will make you feel better."

"Oh yeah? How's that worked out for you and loverboy?"

I pulled my knees into my chest, looking down so he couldn't see the dejected look on my face; resorting to ripping at other people? Oh yeah, Jake was seriously mad.

"It worked fine, until Leah showed up and almost tore us to shreds."

A hiss escaped Jacob's teeth and I stared at him accusingly. Chuckling darkly, Jacob turned to me.

"Yeah well what with the damn bloodsuckers back in town, anything will set off a potential pack member, even the shock that you like Paul even after what he did to you."

I felt a sharp twinge in my broken arm as my arms tightened around my knees, but I ignored it and gritted my teeth. Two could play at Jacob's game.

"The 'bloodsuckers' are back in town? You mean the ones that caused my own brother to shift? And what, has Bella left you again and gone back to her _vampire boyfriend_?"

Standing up abruptly, Jacob took a few steps backwards, his arms shaking and his face twitching, but not before I thought I saw a flash of pain at finding out that Brady had shifted as well.

"_Don't_, even _think_ that you know anything about what is going on between Bella and me. How would you know? _You weren't there_."

I stood up too, facing off my best friend. "The only reason I wasn't there is because you were being an asshole and didn't tell me – hell, it wasn't like Sam was forcing you to do anything before you shifted! You're a good liar Jake," I said, starting to lose my patience with the guilt he was forcing on me, "and if you weren't maybe I would've guessed that something was up. But you hid everything, and so I didn't know to ask. So don't you dare," my mouth was starting to dry out and I feared that I was about to cry, "force me to take on this guilt of being a crappy friend, because _that's on you_."

By now I was shaking as heavily as Jake was, who was still keeping his distance. I looked at my friend, who had been there for me through almost everything, but I couldn't see any resemblance in the person in front of me to my best friend.

"You know, I think I preferred you when you were human."

I think something in what I said hit home, but he still stood defensively in front of me. Scoffing in disbelief, I turned and walked away, not looking back at who used to be my best friend.

I finally felt like I could breathe normally again once I got back home. It was definitely day now; if it weren't for the clouds, the sun would be shining. Sighing and wiping a hand down my face in fatigue, I opened the door and stepped inside, wondering what scene I'd find.

The house was eerily silent, just like it had been yesterday, and immediately I was on my guard. Taking a few tentative steps through the hallway, my calm was shattered by a howl from the front room.

Skidding in from running to the room, I stopped wide eyed and watched as my brother… played video games with his friends?

Seth it seemed had been the one 'howling' in triumph as he kicked Collin and Brady's asses in whatever game they were playing.

My brother addressed me without even moving his eyes from the screen.

"You gonna stand there like a goldfish all day or what?"

His cheeky attitude stayed with him through the shift it seemed. Coming out of my trance and frowning, I looked at the three tweens, but all I saw were young men. It dawned on me that Jacob's (my heart clenched at the thought of his name) anger at the 'bloodsuckers' being back in town was not misplaced; their return must've, to paraphrase my ex best friend, set some things in motion, as well as the presence of the redheaded vampire from the clearing; more young tribe members were shifting, including my brother and his friends.


End file.
